10 Years of Marriage...and Counting Part II

A week passed since I had met that incredibly handsome young man with the intriguing air of confidence. I allowed myself to think about him, but only think about him at a distance. He was way out of my league. And when we met, my appearance was quite poor. I hadn't showered. I was wearing work boots with shorts. I probably had some lame bandanna in my short hair that still had green at the tips from a horrible boxed dye job gone very bad. I certainly didn't fit the bill. But *someone* like him God...

While working in the office later that week, I received a call. I didn't receive calls at the office. I couldn't imagine who or what was on the other end. I don't think I blinked for an entire minute when I heard HIS voice on the other end. Friendly. Casual. Relaxed. And that confidence that I didn't know if I should place as cocky or simply as true confidence. He didn't waste much time with his purpose. I recall the words, "I know you don't know me, but I was wondering if you might want to go out sometime." Stunned, I reflexively managed a measley notation of agreement and asked him "When?". He shot out a date, and my mind whirled with a million questions.

What about my vow to stay clear from young men this summer?
What would happen if our date went horribly? He's my bosses son! The awkwardness would be unbearable.
Why is he so confident? Has anyone said "No." to this guy before?
I'm going to be on vacation in Colorado that week. Why do I have to go on vacation THAT week?
Lord, you heard my prayer, is this from you? Or is this a cruel ploy from enemy lines?

I thought for sure that when I told him I would be unavailable on that date, that would be the end of his pursuit, and he'd quickly end the phone call. Instead, he told me that he really wanted to see me. He didn't want to wait three weeks. Could we meet for a date sooner? Again, I caught myself thinking...."Who does this guy think he is?"

I didn't know if I should be flattered and swooning, or if the red flags should be popping up. Someone had eavesdropped on my prayer, and I didn't know for sure who. It ended up that we agreed to go on a date to dinner that Friday before I left for the family reunion at Estes Park, CO. I hung up and my heart was pounding. I also felt like my brains were stewing, as I began to wonder how much his Mom knew about all of this. I didn't know what to say if I bumped into her by the copy machine now, or how to say it.

I did know one thing...I was going on a summer date with a guy I knew for all of about 10 minutes. But I'd been baited with his alluring confidence, his kind manners, and his style. How he could turn my mind inside out in minutes, had me interested. Very interested.

....continued.....

10 Years of Marriage...and Counting Part I

I can't believe it is almost here. On the 18th of May, Ken and I will be celebrating 10 amazing years of marriage together. I look back at our wedding pictures, and I find myself now thinking about how young we were. How easy it would have been to make a stupid decision that could have lasted a lifetime. And how confident I was that Ken was divinely placed in my path, just so that I would marry him. It is one of those cases when you look back and can see just what God was up to...how His large hands were prearranging everything in my life...how much He loved me.

It was the summer of '94 and I had come home from my sophmore year in college. I was looking to turn over a new leaf after a long string of poor dating decisions. It was the summer I vowed to focus only on Christ. It was the summer I carried a little camo colored New Testament Bible with me everywhere. It was the summer I discovered the eloquent writings of C.S. Lewis. It was the summer I found work as a camp counselor/administrative assistant for a summer camp that served inner city children. It was, and still is, the summer I remember most fondly.

I wanted that job as a camp counselor so badly, I was willing to work for pennies. I wanted to warm hearts and give these children happy summer memories and smiles. I remember my interview for the job very well. There was a beautiful blonde woman, as short as me, with a twinkle in her eye and a warm smile. I could tell there wasn't a bad bone in her soul. I would be working for her and her coworker entering camp applications by day, and acting as a counselor assistant during mealtimes and in the evening, and overnight. I SO wanted this job. And she gave it to me.

The summer was wonderful. The kids were an inspiration to me. The Word was fresh in my heart. One day, that cheery woman who had hired me, and who I had gotten to know very well, inquired about a piece of my personal life. It was a very friendly inquiry, not intrusive. Something along the lines of, "I'm sure a nice gal like you has a boyfriend in the picture." I remember laughing to myself. I remembered my vow to leave boys alone this summer. And I said with confidence, "Nope."

Weeks passed. And then one day that woman with the twinkle in her eye put me at a new post. Used to working in a back room away from visitors, she placed me at the front desk. I remember being all thumbs and scared to death to answer the phone. I hated talking on the phone to strangers. I felt like I sounded like a bluthering idiot on phones. So I was nervous about this odd assignment, but feeling better by noon. And then HE walked in.

The cleanest cut kid, in a polo shirt and kakhi pants. He was my age, with raven black hair, high cheek bones, perfect teeth, a glowing tan and light blue piercing eyes. He looked like he had walked right off the page of a catalog. He was perfect. He was coming to pick his mother up for a lunch date. His mother, I soon discovered was that cute little happy woman whom I had grown to love. The one who had placed me smack in the front of the office that day.

We chatted briefly...he and I. He had an air of confidence that blew me away, and a smile that also brimmed with that same confidence. He shook my hand when it was time to go. I have no idea what we said to each other. But I do remember one thing as I watched him open the door for his mother on the way out. (Even more perfect.) Before he left, he looked back at me (staring at him), and he raised his eyebrows as he said good bye. He looked back.

I remember walking through the path in the woods to get to the cafeteria for lunch that day. I prayed a prayer to God. A prayer for the future. That one day Lord, not today, but one day, I would meet a man like him. Certainly not him. I didn't deserve him. But one day Lord, maybe someone just like him. When I had earned it.

...to be continued...

Lamentations of a Housewife

I'm allowing myself 15 minutes to go on a blogging rant. I've really tried hard in the last week to get this house clean, but there are times, like now, when I wonder why I put forth the effort.

Why does my son find it necessary to open almost all of the yogurt tops in the fridge before he selects one?

Why does one of those yogurts have to fall and hit the floor and explode over the entire kitchen?

Why in the world did I lick off my fingers when they rubbed up against yogurt sitting on the rim of the trash bag? The same bag that holds a full load of disgusting grit and dirt from our bagless vacuum.

Why do I always find a dreaded skid mark in the toilet 30 minutes after it has been cleaned?

Why do I have to plunge the toilet every time my son does a number two?

Why is it that MY bum always has to be the squee-gie for someone else's poor aim?

Where in the world do those huge bleached spots on my nice towels come from??? I don't use bleach.

Why do I take time to hang the children's clothes? Why do I take time to hang my own clothes? I'm just as bad.

Why do my children pick the RED GRAPE JUICE to have a tea party at 8:00am on the carpeted floor?

Why do I make my bed? Why do I stop and arrange pillows? Why do kids like to play hide and seek on a made up bed?

Why do I place a paper plate (purchased with the intention of reducing dish loads), on top of a ceramic plate?

Why does my daughter insist on showing me the mud caked hoe she used to bury sunflower seeds AFTER I've just vacuumed the floor?

Why do I think that our playroom should look like the anal retentively organized playrooms in the PotteryBarn Kids catalog? I mean what IS that? Do they know how cruel that is to mothers around the world?

Why do I actually enjoy cleaning out the wax bug parties in my children's ears? I look forward to it. Is it because this is the one place the children haven't figured out how to messy up 30 minutes after they've been cleaned?

And after all of this cleaning in circles...Why do I still wish to have a dirty dozen of these destroyers?

Surfing The Globe For Continents

In an earlier post, I mentioned that we ditched Marco Polo this term as I couldn't get my act together. I've been wanting to tie map work in with Columbus and our Vikings study, but, truthfully, it felt like I was putting the cart before the horse. Working with both a four and a six year old, I have my little guy who doesn't have a clue what continents are, and Grace, who used to know when she was at Montessori school two years ago, but needed a brush up.

I'll be brutally honest. Sometimes the computer is the best tutor. Yes, it would be nice to have beautiful maps the children have done by hand, in calligraphy, with elevations (tongue in cheek), but that seems like busy work at this age, and a lot of hair getting pulled at the roots. Really a book or two that cover the basics and a repetitive computer game is all we need.

So I located a very brief book at the library that cover the basics (sentence per page), and went online to find a game. Thought I'd share, as this technique has worked well for us, and we are almost ready to dive into states. We've been doing two different online continent games that can be done quickly, but with lots of fun:

National Geographic for Kids GeoSpy, which is great of tons of geography work, has a continent game. We also spend some time looking over animals in the Creature Features and finding out what continents the animals live on. (All of this takes less than 15 minutes for both kids to play the game two times and look up some animals.)

PlayKidsGames.com also has some great continent games that one can do in the form of puzzles.

We have printed out a world map in the National Geographic Atlas section, but I figured I didn't want them labelling the map until they felt confident in their continent skills and we could use it more for copywork that focused on geography.

Grace has also been enjoying math worksheets we found at GoogolPower.com that incorporates addition and subtraction problems with state geography.

If anything, all of this geography work makes me feel good, since the line I had in my Excel spreadsheet for our schedule, had nothing filled in under Geography. The "accomplisher" in me, finds satisfaction in filling that box in with purple now.

Gymnastics Ribbon Week

Today was ribbon day at the children's gymnastics class. They are closing in on the end of the spring season, and this is their second set of ribbons for the year. (I can't believe the kids have been in gymnastics for almost a year!) In one year, Jack has lost his fear of the bottomless foam pits that swallow up unsuspecting four year olds. He is a terrific tumbler and it shows in other areas like Tae-Kwon-Do class. Jack's favorite Tumble Tyke activity is to run around a parachute on the floor. This is less fun for his gym-mates as they end up getting tripped up by Speedy Gonzales as he weaves past them.


Gymnastics did not come naturally to Grace, but she has stuck with it and made huge improvements in her gymnastics skills. She has worked very hard at trying to get those arms and legs to work in tandem for a survivable cartwheel. Doing a back breaking bridge seemed impossible to Grace and her back refused to comply. However, with much practice, Grace has managed to convince her back that it is o.k. to bend into very unnatural contortions. Our daughter has also become very familiar with the dreaded foe of gymnasts around the world...the incessant wedgie.

We'll be taking the summer off so that we can dapple in another sport...swimming at the pool. And perhaps, if she's lucky, Faith will get to have a normal schedule on Tuesdays and not get bounced around between Gymnastics and Tae-Kwon-Do classes.

Here's Looking At You Kiddo

Faith's modeling her new red Indio Didymos wrap, which we both love. She had been hanging out in a Tibetan carry during dinner, and we unwrapped on the porch to enjoy the evening air. The red Indio looked so pretty next to her and the pillows that I decided to fetch the camera and do a little photo shoot.


I'm having the toughest time catching her smiles on film. They are so adorable, but she smiles most when I'm still close to her face. I'm just not fast enough to get a clear shot yet. There's still nothing cuter than a baby happy as a clam in her birthday suit.


The family had a good laugh over Faith's motor feet tonight. She's going to be my one kid who actually does the army crawl. Ken was laying on the floor on his back and he'd place her tummy to tummy with him, on the lower half of his torso. In 1 minute her little feet would have propelled her inch by inch up and over the side of his shoulder. He did this over and over again with her, and she never stopped inching her way up to his neck and over.

(Side note for the curious: I'm totally hooked on Indio Didys. HIGHLY RECOMMEND THEM. They are gorgeous and super soft. We now own 3 beautiful colors (Wildrose, Brown, & Red) in different sizes with one more on the way (Green)...our other carrier styles can't compare in cushy comfort and so they will be moving on to other happy homes.)

Marathon Sleeper

Today was lovely because of one little person in my life (about 23 inches in length) who slept the ENTIRE day away. Faith woke up at 8:00am, hung out until her morning nap at 10:00am and then snoozed peacefully next to Mommy's pillow until 1:30pm. I was delighted enough over that super snooze. But she woke up only long enough to eat, and went right back out. I thought for sure when I gingerly laid her back down next to my pillow that she'd pop her head up. She didn't. That little tootz slept until 5:00pm!!!! After a cat nap around 7:00pm, she was back out for the night at 9:00pm.

Wow. I feel like I've had a Mommy's Day Out or something. I got so much done! I even pitched the six very dead gigantic Mums from last fall that were still on our front porch (very low on my priorities list). I played football toss with the kids. I even made a Control Journal and looking at the piles of junk in this house, vowed to really be a Flybaby this time. It is amazing to me how much time and attention a little 12lb sack of living potatoes can pull. You don't even realize how much, until they finally disappear into the Land of Nod for a full day's trip.

I Am Alive

I'm feeling much better today after Friday's "Deliverance". I don't like to get drugs for every little "this and that". I never get the flu shot. But there are obviously times when medicinal drugs are necessary and embraced. Funny thing is, the doctor even warned me that the antibiotics that I was about to take weren't going to be a blanket cure for my mastitis. They would simply work on the surface, and that's all. HUH????

Doc let me know that if I thought of my Mastitis as a sphere only the outside would heal. The inside would still need and require old fashion nursing, pumping, and expressing to return to healthy. He informed me that with a body temp of 98.6F the milk that had collected in the blocked area would begin to curdle and get thick. ....great, my little girl might end up drinking spoiled milk...

However, I think he unblocked the ducts single handedly right there on the table. Literally. He took his thumb and pressed HARD, REALLY HARD right where it was the most painful. And then he took that thumb, still holding down so hard I was seeing stars, and moved it toward the exit route. He knew I was in major pain as he apologized during the process. I would never have inflicted that much pain on myself. I'm sure that little procedure alone dislodged some blockage.

I'm still a little tender even after 3 days of antibiotics. And I'm sure I'm bruised as well from Friday. The little bit of pain left was easily forgotten this weekend. Both days have been beautiful and spent as a family in our local park where our church had its famous Spring Festival. The children always get sunburned from spending hours at the festival clamoring over big blow up obstacles and slides, or horsing around with little friends. It is such a welcomed sign of summer to me, when we all come home with rosy cheeks and shiny red noses.

This morning they held our church service in the park. I wish we did that more often. Every church should invest in a retractable dome. On gorgeous days we should all retract our domes, and feel the breeze against our faces while we lift our praises up toward the heavens. Rather than darken the room so we all can see the words on the screen above stage, let's lighten it up and let the sweet air in, even if it means doing a little word guess-work during our praise.

The wind is such a living reminder of Christ to me: Powerful. Refreshing. Moving. I love to watch Faith when the wind blows in her face. It is a reflex. Every baby does it. Babies breathe deeper when the wind fills their tiny noses. I've spent the winter and part of spring shut up with the duties of motherhood. Away from the free movement of fresh air. Its been good to get out, feel life again, and breathe deeper.

I've Lost The Battle

I give up...I'm heading into the OB office for the Mastitis issues. Faith is doing so well and really drinking a lot from that side. Mercy is upon me, as she has done some of her most thorough nursing in the last two days, but my body is turning a corner. A bad corner.

I woke up at 2:00am with a fever and my head was swimming with dizziness. My achiness that I had begun to feel the night before was full blown achy throbbing in all of my joints. Bad signs. Not signs that my body is kicking this in the tail. I called this morning to get in, and the office informed me that they were booked today. In a panic, I played the "super-sweet" card, and let them know that I didn't think I could go another 24 hours without getting pretty sick. (Translation..."You don't get me in there, you'll be seeing me on the 6 o'clock news.) A saintly nurse called me back, asked my symptoms and my history (I've had this twice before) and immediately said I could be squeezed in. I guess since I've had it before, she trusts that I do know what my body is telling me.

Luckily, I don't have a fever now, and I'm feeling decent enough to drive myself and the kids to the office. I'm trying to not go psycho on the kids, and so far so good.

This is all my fault. I've been staying up til midnight sometimes beyond. I've not been eating the greatest in the last two weeks - When does a homeschooling, home business, mother of three eat???? Everytime I have a free moment I fill it with what I need to get done, whether that be the laundry, cooking, schooling the children, graphic design work for the business, etc. Honestly, blogging is my best chance at sitting down and having some food. Lately, I've been nursing on fumes with a Yoplait yogurt and coffee holding me over until 1:00pm. That's just stupid, when I need 600 extra calories to nurse in the first place. At the same time, Faith has begun sleeping through the night. Bad combo. Shame on me. Stupid. (banging head on wall)

Turning Lemons Into Lemonade

Tonight Faith and I did our best to help Mommy out with her impending threat of Mastitis and have a little fun in the process. I LOVE bathing with my babies, and it is a shame that I don't remember to do it more often. There is just nothing more fun than climbing into the tub and joining the fun with a water loving baby. While the kids and Ken were at AWANA, we sang to each other, nursed, kicked sideways, kicked on our back, practiced standing and splashing, and sang some more.

Watching Faith kick rapid fire in the water, with wild excited eyes, and an upturned little cooing mouth puts pure joy in my heart. It's like watching a puppy frolic and pounce in the sand at the beach. You can't help but feel the same happiness. She did a stellar job nursing on the side that is giving me trouble. My job was to entertain and sing every single nursery rhyme I could remember, while she nursed and gazed starry eyed at me with those baby blues as if I were the best alto in the opera.

My left side is still red and raw, but it was a strong effort to soak in warm water and nurse. Faith is down for the count tonight after an hour of piston firing leg splashing. I so hope this night brings relief and healing. The good news is I still have my wits about me...I think.

The Dreaded "M" Word

It is hovering over me today like a little black cloud. Just waiting to pour down over my head in a torrent of delirium. MASTITIS. I woke up at 5:00am to feed Faith, and had that "Oh. No." feeling as I felt searing pain in my left breast.

I've had Mastitis twice before and it about turned me inside out with insanity. It affects my mind, and comes on so quickly that I barely even know what is happening. Honestly, no exaggeration, I flip out. Last time, I ended up half crazy with a 104+ temp in the middle of the night, just praying I could keep my wits about me until I could get medicine by morning. The stuff is dangerous and sneaks up on me with little warning. It scares me so, because of its firm mental grip.

So, since early this morning I've been trying to cut it off at the pass with a little self help before it becomes the "M" word. I've been nursing almost exlusively on that side, but I can feel the milk and the knot gathering in there. You are supposed to nurse, which is such a good feeling as the burn does ease up. But then I'm also supposed to massage the knot under heat (shower) and do arm swings to get things moving. TALK ABOUT POURING SALT ON A WOUND...that burns like the dickins! But the alternative is that I wig out on my unsuspecting husband, so I've been popping Advil and massaging the knot, while a fleet of pain endorphins surge through my body.

I was feeling pretty good by noon, but it is back. I have one pill, ONE, that I saved from my prescription over three years ago, for this very purpose. It probably is a dud by now. But my experiences were bad enough, that I felt compelled to save that pill. I coddle that blue pill like it is worth thousands of dollars.

I warned Ken this morning, and he informed me with a deer in the head lights look that he was going to be working outside of the home today. He says he can't remember me losing it before, but the look said it all. Somewhere deep in his cerebral cortex he remembers..I saw it in his eyes...Primal Fear.

We Start Em' Early Here

I have always been a huge fan of the Johnny Jumper. Grace and Jack could be entertained for a solid hour straight in that thing with no complaints and lots of laughs. It becomes a common fixture in our bathroom doorway as soon as it is feasible. Faith's major preference is still to be either upright or standing, so I couldn't wait to whip the JJ out and give her a new look and control on life. A little blanket propping and she's good to go.

Yes. She's a lot short in the torso still, which makes for a hilarious scene with her little eyes peering over the edge and her fists above her head. But Faith doesn't seem to care, and enjoys controlling her visual stimulation while mouthing the fabric until it becomes edible.

The Easter Pinata

Every Easter it is tradition in our house for the Easter bunny to leave or do something unusual Easter morning. Two Easter's ago, she door bell ditched our house and left us with two rodent gerbils to take care of. Do I sound like I am complaining? Really, what was she thinking? Anyway, last Easter she surprised the children as they were getting into the car for church with a rogue stuffed animal in each of the children's car seats.

This year, the Easter bunny was feeling quite festive, and hung a Pinata in the front yard, along with 10-15 hidden eggs hidden among the garden. She also left a blow up bunny in each of the children's rooms with new Easter clothing to wear to church. The Easter bunny couldn't wait to watch the children go a-hunting. All of the cameras were prepared. The Easter bunny had even left a decoy of two Easter baskets next to the door to the BACK yard (no hidden eggs), just in case the kids decided to take an early look in the morning.

Long story short, the Easter bunny was busy scrubbing with soap in the shower Sunday morning when her little darlings bust through the bathroom and raised their left arms to announce and display that the Easter Bunny had left them new clothes. Good! (The Easter Bunny thought.) The clothes and blow up bunnies held them over.

Silly bunny...tricks are for kids.

The children raised their right hands to also announce and display that they had discovered ALL of the Easter eggs already. And guess what Mom! She left a Pinata in the front yard!!!

Well at least we got pictures of the Pinata being beaten to a pulp. It was a beautiful day for a Pinata, and the children tried their best to break him, but he was strong. A third whack from Dad finished him off.

NEWS FLASH! I've finally figured out how to add video!! Warning: This will be choppy on the first run through, but once it has gone full circle, you'll be able to replay it again at regular speed. Remember when I mentioned that all of the cameras were ready? Well, we discovered in the morning that we didn't have any more discs for the video camera, so the little video option on the digital camera had to do. Forgive me for the quality, but this video is a bit humorous (or scary), as it displays our son's more aggressive side. Also, I must remember to shut up when I take video.

Happy 2006 Easter!

We hope you all had a blessed Easter with your families and friends. Here are a couple of pictures of the better four-fifths of the family before Sunday church service. This was one squeaky clean family that morning!

Breaching The Levies

Maybe this is related to Faith's restlessness last night. Interestingly enough, the girl slept a whopping 11 hours straight last night after her crying it out session. She collapsed at 9:30pm and slept the whole night through until 8:30am.

Isn't it a tease? As a nursing mom you can't wait for the day your little one snoozes the night away, meanwhile you wake up in the middle of the night to two painfully gigantic rocks in a milk soaked shirt.

There is this mental game I play in my head. I don't want to play, but I'm forced to. I usually lose too. Nursing really is amazing. All I have to do is think about nursing for 10 seconds and my milk comes in. So what happens when I am thinking about how painful my already engorged milk bar is and wishing Faith would wake up?? MORE MILK COMES IN!! Burning like fire as it tries desperately to find a place to go.

I am very aware that I run this risk of breaching the levies just from mental thoughts. So my stream of consciousness goes something like this:

Oiy. These hurt something awful...I need her to wake up soon...DON'T THINK ABOUT NURSING OR YOU'LL LET DOWN and be stuck with bigger rocks for the next few hours...think about something else...but I can hardly move without feeling the pain...think about something else...how am I going to get back to sleep if I can't...DOH!!!

I did manage to get through the night this time without arousing in pain, but by 7:30am, I was wildly expressing milk in the shower with two fists. Lovely visual...

What's In Your Breakfast?

I'm having a really hard time lately rolling myself out of bed until Faith says it is time to wake up. Fortunately, she loves to sleep in until about 7:30 (that's sleeping in for mommies). Grace and Jack, my crack-of-dawn children, have a tendency to wake up before the sun. And lately, they've been feeling REALLY independent with making their own breakfast. Unfortunately as the pantry gets more bare, and I find less time for grocery runs, they find ways to get more creative with breakfast food.

If we are fortunate to have bread in the house, they'll make toast. When the bread runs out, I'll find remnants of hamburger or hot dog buns laying around the kitchen. When the buns run out, they refocus on milk. Milk with chocolate syrup or chocolate powder. Yesterday was divine. I came down the stairs to discover that someone had gotten REALLY creative and made an interesting concoction of milk with chocolate syrup and cookie sprinkles. Sprinkles were everywhere! When I asked what else they had chosen for breakfast they fessed up to Goldfish and Ritz Bits crackers. I didn't know if I should feel like the worst mother ever or laugh my tail off.

I still haven't made it to the store, but I did bake a loaf of fresh bread in the breadmaker today so I am feeling a little redeemed...but nervous. We're almost out of milk.

Remind Me Why Vaccinations Are Good

...cause right now I'm not feelin' it. Faith had her first set of vaccinations on Monday for her two month check up. The nurse walked in with four, count them, FOUR, syringes. Grace and Jack were very interested in watching Faith's reaction as she received "real" shots. My poor baby. I was so glad I decided to bring her wrap, as putting her on my back, nestled into my neck was the ONLY thing that finally calmed her down. She was so upset.

I wish I could say that was the worst of it, but the next 24 hours included fever, vomiting and major blow outs. Not to mention fuss-bucket city. Tylenol was not the answer either, as I quickly discovered that Faith has a major aversion to the stuff and it comes right back out at 90 miles/hr with her entire last meal. After a few hours of this, I rechecked all of the vaccination sheets I received at the doctors office and learned that these were "mild" reactions to the vaccination serums. Mild?? Come to my house! There is nothing mild about projectile vomiting, exploding diapers, and 8 clothing changes in 24 hours. It is any wonder after all of that purging that any vaccine could be left in the poor child.

The good news is she is now 12 lbs. (or was before Operation Dehydration), and has grown two whole inches in the last month. I should be happy. I should be thankful for vaccinations that save millions of lives. That will keep her healthy in her future. But part of me is angry that I induced her first fever, and put her through all this misery. It is silly isn't it? It just seems wrong - I bring her healthy as a horse to the doctor's office and she comes back miserable and sick for the next two days.

Bleh.

This is also the first night I had to let her cry it out. I mean REALLY cry it out. I tried everything to help her wind down for the night, and she just couldn't do it. So I curled up in the fetal position in the dark on my bed and felt her pain as she wailed in her cradle for a good 10 minutes. WAILED. Her little lungs finally collapsed into involuntary spasms of quick inhales that accompany violent sobs as she passed out and gave in to sleep. It took all I had in me not to scoop her up and wrap her in my arms when she had finally exhausted herself. I couldn't resist at least stroking her soft hair and letting her know that "Mommy still loves her".

Bleh again.

Now You See Them, Now You Don't

I've been sitting on this post. I wasn't sure if I had given them enough time. They arrived last Friday. Aren't they lovely? The picture can't possibly do them justice. They are incredibly well made, and the fabric is scrumptious, but they just aren't working for me or Faith.

I've finding them much more difficult to tie on and work with. With a wrap I have two ends to deal with and control, with a Mei Tai, I'm finding four to be too tedious. I can't seem to get them as tight as I can wrap my Didymos around the shoulders and torso. Faith is also not as crazy with them, but this also may be due to her sensing my frustration. She did fall asleep in one once, but I just didn't feel as snug with her. So I hate to do it, but I spent too much doe-rai-me on these...and I know I'll just grab my trustworthy wrap when I head out the door or toodle around the house. They have to go back. *sniff*.

The good news is I could now "exchange" my Mei Tai purchases for another Didymos. My confidence is in my Didy. I can wrap Faith securely on my back in 30 seconds flat. And it feels great no matter what the weight. The other day my 40lb Jack put his arm around my waist and said, "Mom? When can I ride you?"...translation..."When can I get a piggy back in that thing?". It was such a cute request, I said I'd try. He hopped on my back from the couch, I did a rucksack carry on my back and we walked around the house as he giggled in glee.

So, as soon as they are in the box, and at the post office, I'll be on the hunt for a more gender neutral Didy that Ken can also use, and still feel like a stud. The pink Didy is a hard pill to swallow for a guy. Ken making a statement of masculinity wearing the pink Didy.

Since we really enjoyed our hike together this week, I think it might be a worthy purchase. Good bye pretty Mei Tais...you really were a work of art, but practicality speaks louder than beauty for this baby totin' mama.

1 Cup of Sugar, A Pinch of Spice, & 1 Gallon of Cute

Warning!! You are now entering the sickeningly cute stage of babyhood.

Faith has begun to play adorably sweet games, including the nursing game of making eyes and smiles at me while she eats -- suck, suck, smile slyly at mommy...suck, suck...coo at mommy...suck, suck...smile AND coo at mommy with face dripping with milk...suck, suck, ignore the factor that mommy is getting soaked in process as milk drips down into the folds of her belly and pants. I wish I could take a few of those pictures, but a large milk jug in the picture would overpower the cute factor going on. So these will have to do:

It is hard to believe that it gets even cuter than this. From experience, I know it does. But for the first time, I'm not trying to rush my child into the next stage in her life - wishing and hoping she'd make the next milestone.

For the first time, I'm really just enjoying the entire ride, hanging on every new moment of change.

I Need To Redeem Myself

This blog is backsliding. I admit it is much more fun to blog about family and new babies in the house than it is about homeschooling. We've had a lot of visitation over the last month and quite a bit of adjustment, but we have held strong with schooling...to a point. I have recently felt my Charlotte Mason roots sliding just a tad. The kids have no objection (yet) to worksheets and sometimes it is so much easier to *feel* like they have done something to show for schooling if I give them a few worksheets.

Grace especially is a worksheet-a-holic and has lately been making copies of her own worksheets to do before I even wake up in the morning. I've also been working more closely with Jack as he is at a spot where he really is leaning on me as he learns how to read and add. We have been keeping up with our reading, although it is taking us much longer to get through Understood Betsy than I had planned, and it will probably take us to the end of the term. We'll most likely need to reserve A Wind in The Willows for next term over the summer.

Or studies in Columbus and the Vikings have been going very well, and I have appreciated putting the two together as they go hand in hand. And...well...Marco Polo...that book has been pushed aside until I can figure out a better way to pull that entire lesson plan together. I'm not concerned though, as that is reserved for AO Year 2 material. It was just my geography for Grace, but we'll work around that by working on maps for Columbus and the Vikings.

I MUST get back to narrations. It was easy with 50 Famous Stories to ask for a narration. Now I am lucky if I can get through any reading without interruption of the baby, so it increasingly more difficult lately to find time to ask for a narration after completing the reading.

I am determined to start blogging up again on this site. I am hoping that it will keep me more focused and accountable as I do not wish to ditch CM in the long run as a matter of convenience. The baby calls...

(Note...this post was moved from a former homeschool only blog to Our Golden Apples blog.)

Thanks Grandma & Grandpa!!

I can't thank those two enough for all they did this week during their visit. And now all of the grandparents are gone...and I'm going to go through emergency assistance withdrawal. Grandma and Grandpa swooped in from the Rocky Mountains and spent almost an entire week with us. The children could barely contain their excitement upon their arrival and showed them every neat thing they could think of in the first hour alone.

Faith fell in love instantly with her Grandmother who has always had a natural knack for bringing out happiness. And Grandpa, with his towering stature, offered an arial view of Faith's surroundings while informing her of her high status level in the family (as if the Princess of Wails didn't know).

Grandma came prepared, bringing with her an old "Flibber" book from Ken's childhood, filled with "How To" projects for children. The children worked on a few of those projects with Grandma including the ol' standby of weaving a placemat.

I know we are ALL going to be going through grandparent withdrawal. I'll be spending the next two weeks trying to field the questions, "When can we go to Grandma and Grandpa's house?" or "When can we see Alyssa's house and visit Nana?" or "When is Aunt Sarah going to play a video game with me again?".

A Hike At The Lake

Today was a beautiful day for a hike. So the family, including Grandma and Grandpa, packed up our gear, made a pitstop for some picnic food, and headed out to a great hiking trail that works its way next to a large lake north of the city.

After loading up on carbs and protein (courtesy of Subway) we headed off on the trail. Grace and Jack really enjoyed all of the little features and surprises along the path. Eastern Tiger Swallowtails were everywhere, as well as ducks, and a couple of encounters with a small group of deer grazing in some nearby thickets. Jack was tickled at the sight of winding bridges that sprung up (built years ago by a group of Eagle scouts), and Grace pocketed hickory and acorn nuts.

Half way along the hike we stopped for some family pictures near a little shack in the woods. Here's a pretty decent one of all of us -- well...minus Jack, who always has great timing.

At the beginning of the hike, Ken bravely offered to try wearing Faith for the first time in her *pink* wrap. Faith thoroughly enjoyed hanging around on the back of her Daddy and showed her nod of approval with a snooze that lasted through most of the hike. She even managed to get some sun on those little cheeks and button nose, so for the last third of the hike she wore a onsie over the top of her head to block the rays. At the end of our hike we rested along the lake shore. Pollen is in full season right now so the shore water was a sea of yellow. This didn't seem to deter the children from wading along the shore, and drawing water designs in the pollen with their fingers. Grace lost her balance at one point and soaked herself from head to toe. (Ever seen a child dipped in pollen?)

The return home was a little more adventuresome. Dad offered to run back and get the car, so we all wouldn't have to walk all the way back. Wasn't that nice? Unfortunately, the gate to the shore we were at was locked which required him to park and double back to inform us of this detour. So Dad essentially walked the hike once and ran it twice!

What is Better Than A Sling?

Not to keep hyping on slinging, but I just received a CD full of pictures from my mother's visit with us. Faith was already happy to hang out in the sling while the kids played in the park, but put the girl in a sling, and then SWING and we're talking heaven!

Nana showed no hesitation in trying on the sling, and gave it a whirl herself.

Do You Know How Long It Has Been?

...since we had a family picture? Our last attempt at professional pictures was four years ago, and it traumatized me enough that thinking about getting the kids prepared for another professional photo shoot makes my eyes glaze over. It was really a fiasco last time. Jack was 3 months old and cried the entire ride there. Meanwhile Grace who was 2, suddenly developed an aversion to her brother on the set. There is a huge gap between her and her brother in the shots where she didn't escape from the set in time. The kids both look sick as they were so pale from spending the entire winter indoors. It was awful, and I was a stress ball.

We really haven't even had a family shot of all of us showered and cleaned up since Grace was just a little one. (Now, that I think of it, there is a great one from the beach two years ago that Ken's mom shot...but certainly nothing with Faith.) I was so happy to get this picture from Nana. It's not professional, but most of us are relatively clean, and I love looking at our larger family, snuggled together and happy in one shot.

Jerry Wrigging Play Gyms

I've found with my having my third child, that I tend to feel like I "need" that neat new playgym, but I don't act on it. I want to buy it, but I don't when I think of how little in the end she'll use it. Instead, Faith has watched mommy do a lot of jerry-wrigging. Here is my most recent idea for her play gym: one sturdy couch, one coffee table, one butterfly net and a few toys. It works great!

Faith also has a second jerry wrigged play gym in her crib using the tie from my robe (tied to the top of either side of the crib). This is my attempt at getting her introduced to her crib.

Jerry Wrigging Play Gyms

I've found with my having my third child, that I tend to feel like I "need" that neat new playgym, but I don't act on it. I want to buy it, but I don't when I think of how little in the end she'll use it. Instead, Faith has watched mommy do a lot of jerry-wrigging. Here is my most recent idea for her play gym: one sturdy couch, one coffee table, one butterfly net and a few toys. It works great!

Faith also has a second jerry wrigged play gym in her crib using the tie from my robe (tied to the top of either side of the crib). This is my attempt at getting her introduced to her crib.

A Gift From Nana

"Um. Hello? Am I here to amuse you?"
"MAYDAY! MAYDAY! Losing neck control! I'm going down!"
(We're still a little young for the Bumbo seat yet.)

It Has Been Awhile

Thanks to family. For the arrival of our third child, Ken and I opted to do something different with family visits. Usually family rolled in within the first month of a new baby, but with Faith things have happened later. We just said good bye to Nana, cousin Alyssa and Aunt Sarah, and today Ken's parents arrived for a full week (wahoo!).

I think I enjoy the later visits much more. It has been really rewarding to be able to see Faith interact and smile back at all of these new and interesting faces (as opposed to being this tiny little wee one who is either sleeping or eating). We are dealing with a much more predictable schedule, I've got much more sleep in myself, and we all can enjoy the visit and take off to go do things easier. I also have found as I grow older and better equipped in the "home economics world" that I enjoy cooking for visiting family, which I wouldn't be able to do with a newborn.

Faith is just over two months old now, and loves to be immersed in a busy active world. She still prefers to take hour catnaps in my wrap while we go about our day to day activities. I've discovered that Faith NEEDS movement to calm her and wear her down for sleep. Sometimes I even have to walk and nurse. On top of all that, she's been very refluxy, projectile spitting what looks like the entire days worth of nursing. This could have been a big problem for a mother of three. But, I am so grateful to have learned about the "art" of babywearing with wraps otherwise, I know that these first two months would have been incredibly difficult on me emotionally and on my arms! By the using the wrap, I can keep her belly upright, which helps greatly with reflux issues. I really feel like the Lord was watching down over us, and threw me a wrap after a month, saying "Here, you're going to need this."

Now, I feel like I can do anything with a baby napping on my back. I can still serve the Lord and teach my three year old Sunday school class, without interrupting a regular morning nap for Faith. She's with me, but yet off the floor and at a safe distance from curious little hands. Or I can enjoy preparing dinner for the in-laws, or grocery shop till my cart can hold no more. The benefits have been endless.

I'm still waiting on my Mei Tais, but they shipped on Friday. Now I'm worried that I'm a step above Mei Tais with versatility and comfort and I won't like them as much as Faith and I lurvve our Didy wrap. I'm sure I'll love them, they just won't be the workhorse of our babywearing world. I'll be sure to post pictures when they arrive.