When The Kid Isn't Yours

This is my first time. My first time dealing with a neighborhood kid that is "difficult". We've lived only a few houses away from each other, and for years our kids and their kids have never crossed paths. Then recently the eight year old girl started to walk her new puppy into every neighbor's yard. Our yard is a special stop in that it has a fish pond in the front to visit, so she and her sister usually come by at least twice a day. It was on one of these visits that the girl and Grace met. It took no more than three minutes for me to realize we had a problem on our hands.

Shoving my hands hard in my pockets is all I can do to stop myself from spanking this child. She has zero respect for adults, peers or animals. When she visits with Grace and Jack outside, I HAVE to be within earshot. To give you an idea of the situation, this is what happened yesterday in the span of just 5 minutes:

Upon spotting the empty gerbil cage on the porch, I overheard the child demand that Grace show her the gerbil. Grace replied he was dead and now buried. The girl challenged that Grace unbury it so she could see it anyway. Grace made no such attempt, but upon further questioning she did share with her where the gerbil was buried. Upon that information, the girl grabbed the small shovel nearby and said SHE would unbury the gerbil herself. (This was not simple curiousity over death, folks. The tone of the girl's conversation was shockingly bullish and forceful.)

It was of course at this point, where I promptly came out of the house and told her nobody would be unburying the dead gerbil. She asked me, "Why NOT?" and then wondered aloud how I had heard her....hmmmmmm.

Directly after the gerbil reprimand, she picked up a rock from the burial location, headed over to the fish pond, held it high over her head and said, "Look what I'm going to do." Standing only two yards away from her, I told her not to throw rocks at the fish. She kept the rock high, making no attempt to put her arm down. Me..fuming at this point...told her she could decide how she wanted to end this thing. I should have kicked her tail out of the yard, but I think I was just as stunned as the kids with her behavior.

Just to keep up the vent festival for a moment...She also has a fettish with opening our front door. Despite my firm responses, she thinks it is humorous to open the door and a let the little toy dog in our house. After reminding her not to open the door, I'll overhear her saying to her sister, "Let's do it again, that was funny." At times, it is dangerous to the puppy, as I have caught them let the dog in, then shut the door, and pull the leash. Beyond normal etiquette, and animal cruelty, this is also the last thing we need to happen with Hatch chomping at the bit (in a friendly way) around other dogs and any time a door opens.

You'd think that a few firm conversations with the kid would change her behavior (at least around us), but it doesn't. She lies through her teeth to Grace, with one manipulation after another manipulation. While this has been a very teachable excercise for Grace, as she learns how to stand up for herself, the last thing I want, is for any of these shananigans to rub off on the kids.

I'm a whimp when it comes to confrontation with adults. I'm avoiding the "talk" with the Mother. I don't want to make an enemy out of the parents...they seem like nice people. I mean what do I say? The truth just would seem hurtful. I feel like I'm crossing some rite of passage as a parent. I could ban her from the yard, but that just seems ridiculous and somehow avoiding a real solution. However, her behavior IS ridiculous. Do I kill her with kindness or give her the boot? This is one of those "What Would Jesus Do?" moments, and I have NO idea.