Happy 80th Grandpa B!

Saturday was my Grandpa B's 80th Birthday. For his birthday I sent him an 8x10 scan of this photo taken shortly after Christmas in 1977. I was four, and being from a Northern Californian town where it never snowed, the fresh snowfall was irresistable. I remember my heart pounding as we ventured over to the hill. I think it was my first sled ride ever, and Grandpa set the sled up right smack in the middle of the giant Illinois country street hill in front of the farm house.



Not only was I going to be whizzing down a monster valley of snow, but it was a STREET. Streets were dangerous. It seemed parents were always shouting to their little ones to look both ways before crossing a street. And here I was sledding on one! Despite the nerves, I trusted that Grandpa could stop the world if need be. They all can, right?

Many of my fondest memories as a child were born on Grandpa's pig farm. Sadly, the farm and farmhouse were sold over a decade ago. However, the memories feel like yesterday. I'm so thankful for those morning visits to see the sows and their babies, the kittens tucked and hidden in every abandon pig house, the truck and tractor rides, climbing in the barn hay, feeding the horses, swimming in the large water trough, the visits to the musty attic to peek at the old dolls and toys, my first bee sting, my first (and only) shocking encounter with an electric fence, and feeling completely safe to wander for hours on acres upon acres of property.

Bumbo Baby

This is my latest attempt at keeping Faith happy during that fussy hour that runs smack into dinner prep time. So far, it is working like a charm. One Bumbo + One Naked Baby + A Warm Faucet Trickle = 20 Minutes of Uninterrupted Dinner Prep. I even get a cleaner baby out of the equation.

Nana, you can rest easy. The Bumbo is a hot ticket item in the house!

Independence Day

The children told on themselves. Feeling very independent, they said that while I was busy in the basement they got their own bowls of ice cream. The kids even volunteered that they had washed their bowls and spoons, placing them back in the cupboard. They did this so that I wouldn't know --- aside from the fact that their own pride at how sneaky they had been put them at disciplinary risk. I'm the dessert despenser, following clean lunch plate approval, but I was somewhat amused and let it go.

Why I felt they had actually cleaned up everything is beyond me. I should have known better. Instead, I let the day slide until I revisited the kitchen 4 hours later. I'm quite positive that if they hadn't told on themselves, I would have never known, except for one small, teeny, tiny detail.

Yes gals...you can cry.

When The Kid Isn't Yours

This is my first time. My first time dealing with a neighborhood kid that is "difficult". We've lived only a few houses away from each other, and for years our kids and their kids have never crossed paths. Then recently the eight year old girl started to walk her new puppy into every neighbor's yard. Our yard is a special stop in that it has a fish pond in the front to visit, so she and her sister usually come by at least twice a day. It was on one of these visits that the girl and Grace met. It took no more than three minutes for me to realize we had a problem on our hands.

Shoving my hands hard in my pockets is all I can do to stop myself from spanking this child. She has zero respect for adults, peers or animals. When she visits with Grace and Jack outside, I HAVE to be within earshot. To give you an idea of the situation, this is what happened yesterday in the span of just 5 minutes:

Upon spotting the empty gerbil cage on the porch, I overheard the child demand that Grace show her the gerbil. Grace replied he was dead and now buried. The girl challenged that Grace unbury it so she could see it anyway. Grace made no such attempt, but upon further questioning she did share with her where the gerbil was buried. Upon that information, the girl grabbed the small shovel nearby and said SHE would unbury the gerbil herself. (This was not simple curiousity over death, folks. The tone of the girl's conversation was shockingly bullish and forceful.)

It was of course at this point, where I promptly came out of the house and told her nobody would be unburying the dead gerbil. She asked me, "Why NOT?" and then wondered aloud how I had heard her....hmmmmmm.

Directly after the gerbil reprimand, she picked up a rock from the burial location, headed over to the fish pond, held it high over her head and said, "Look what I'm going to do." Standing only two yards away from her, I told her not to throw rocks at the fish. She kept the rock high, making no attempt to put her arm down. Me..fuming at this point...told her she could decide how she wanted to end this thing. I should have kicked her tail out of the yard, but I think I was just as stunned as the kids with her behavior.

Just to keep up the vent festival for a moment...She also has a fettish with opening our front door. Despite my firm responses, she thinks it is humorous to open the door and a let the little toy dog in our house. After reminding her not to open the door, I'll overhear her saying to her sister, "Let's do it again, that was funny." At times, it is dangerous to the puppy, as I have caught them let the dog in, then shut the door, and pull the leash. Beyond normal etiquette, and animal cruelty, this is also the last thing we need to happen with Hatch chomping at the bit (in a friendly way) around other dogs and any time a door opens.

You'd think that a few firm conversations with the kid would change her behavior (at least around us), but it doesn't. She lies through her teeth to Grace, with one manipulation after another manipulation. While this has been a very teachable excercise for Grace, as she learns how to stand up for herself, the last thing I want, is for any of these shananigans to rub off on the kids.

I'm a whimp when it comes to confrontation with adults. I'm avoiding the "talk" with the Mother. I don't want to make an enemy out of the parents...they seem like nice people. I mean what do I say? The truth just would seem hurtful. I feel like I'm crossing some rite of passage as a parent. I could ban her from the yard, but that just seems ridiculous and somehow avoiding a real solution. However, her behavior IS ridiculous. Do I kill her with kindness or give her the boot? This is one of those "What Would Jesus Do?" moments, and I have NO idea.

Oh Look! A Post About Babies & Dogs.

How original. I just can't help myself. I'll try and stop...after this post. But, put dogs and babies together, those great wide spheres o'happiness, and my heart melteth.

This moment begged for a photo. This isn't so much Hatch snuggling with Faith as it is Hatch saw me coming in Faith's general direction so he flopped down next to Faith to get a piece of lovin' action. Faith, capitalized on the moment and decided to get a piece of her own lovin' action laying a solid grip around Hatch's fur.

Mr. Hatch's personality is starting to come out of his shell. He's a trip. The dog knows how to milk a good thing, and could qualify as one of the biggest pushovers on the face of God's green earth. He's a dreamboat dog.


Yesterday, I felt like SuperMOM walking into the vet with a baby on my back, two kids in tow, one gerbil in a cage, and one happy go lucky dog. Minus the double trips for moving dogs and gerbils around, the visit went well (for all but the pet gerbil). It was worth the extra effort in that we weren't leaving the vet with just a euthanized dead gerbil to bury, but we had a very happy, healthy dog going home with us.

Jack was still very sad. While the gerbil was in the back room for the final countdown, I tried my best to keep the situation positive talking about the bright side of Marly's soon to be new and improved life. At one point, the thoughts overwhelmed Jack and he dropped into a corner on his knees and quickly said, "I need to think about something else." Jack's in need of extra warm hugs these days. Sad one moment, and angrily drop kicking his big sister the next moment.

Except for some "slightly arthritic back knees", Hatch walked out with a clean bill of health, stunning the staff with his adorable demeanor and manners. The vet's opinion is Hatch is a golden/collie mix (too big for a Spitz), around 2-3 years of age. We've got a lot of years to look forward to with Mr. Hatch. Which is terrific news for all of us.

A New Friendship Forged

It took all day, but we did it. And we are happy as can be. After two unsolicited calls from friends both suggesting taking in a dog without a home (either seen or unseen), it started to feel like the good Lord above was telling us not to wait. We were planning on waiting until the spring for a Golden Retriever puppy, but honestly, I was finding it hard to squelch the desire for a canine pal. I knew I couldn't do a puppy and a baby at once. And the more I thought about it, the better buying an adult dog sounded. If things quieted down in the late fall or spring, we could still purchase a Golden.

Today, we ended up at the Animal Control Center in our county, as just about every humane or adoption center demands a fence. Since our Maggie never needed a fence and we don't have one, the Animal Control Center was the only place that didn't require fencing. I'm so glad we went. We ended up saving and scoring an AMAZING dog. I have a feeling someone really shed tears over this missing pooch --- he is just as well mannered and gentle as our Maggie. (Psst...He's an even better sport about bathing and brushing.)


Hatch, after his 6 hour extreme makeover.
We named him "Hatch" (after our Knucker Hatch alias). And he probably feels like he has hatched a brand new life with us. It has taken all afternoon and evening just to work out the gads and gads of hair that was falling out in huge tufts and mats. Our best guess is Hatch appears to be a 40lb. Finnish Spitz mix who might be 4-6 years old. He has the looks and stature of a fox, but with floppy tipped ears. Sometimes he just looks like a mini Golden Retriever. We love his sweet disposition already. His idea of "Sit" is collapsing on the floor and widening the surface area of his belly for maximum scratching potential. Hatch is a total sucker for lovin' on. Honestly, we don't even know if he has a voice... he hasn't even barked once through the hours and hours of brushing and tick pulling.

Hatch is a lucky boy who managed to squeeze past the 6 day average stay before his kill date. In fact, he was held for over three weeks at the control center...an unusal length of time. His heart clearly bought him a stay. Hatch's kennel card was the only one that had the extra note: "So Sweet!". They weren't kidding. A lady who saw us interacting together in the kennel, let out a small gasp of delight when she saw us. Turns out she worked there, but was there on her off day, and thanked us for rescuing Hatch, saying he was a special sweetheart. He's a snuggler, that I am actually trying to teach TO jump up and share the couch with me. He's also turned into quite the handsome and soft man, after a treatment of L'oreal shampoo and conditioner (which has done wonders for his highlights by the way).

We are equally as fortunate to have found such a stellar dog today. Hatch is incredibly forgiving...he hasn't said a peep about the 50 billion times we've referred to him as "she" or "girl". Ask me how it feels to hear that familiar tic-tic of dog nails on our hardwoods again.

It feels like home.

A New Take On Weed Management

After looking through an animal tracking book from the library, Grace approached me with a proposition today:

"Hey, Mom. Did you know that the Snowshoe Hare eats WEEDS?"
"Why don't we get a Snowshoe and then we won't have any more weeds in our yard!"

Yes. I admit it. We have 3 foot weeds in our back yard flower beds. They go nicely with the 4 foot sunflowers though. I keep telling myself that I'm letting them go because I need them for our seed collection project when school starts. Right.

Being a housebun Mom myself in my college days, I'm all for another bunny. But Ken will never, NEVER approve of a rabbit again. (The things you can still get away with when you are young and married are no more.) We'll have to think of an alternative. But that was good thinkin'.

Standing In the Shade of God's Shadow

We're on the Enemy's radar screen. I know it, and Ken knows it. It wasn't until about four weeks ago that we voiced what we were both thinking, and realized, we both knew it. Ironically, it was about two months ago, that I checked out a book by Charles Stanley called "When The Enemy Strikes". I only reached the third chapter, before having to return it back to the library. But it was enough. It is clear that at least in my case, the Enemy wants to steal my joy.

This is a time of weakness for me. I have been unable to attend my Bible studies for six months, and I am isolated with a little baby. The weakness isn't in temptation, but more along the lines of feeling "down" or inviting depression. In the last two months I have watched the helpless little creatures around me get picked off one by one in our household. I have a deep heart for the little guy, and the Enemy knows that he can make me twist in the wind on this. And he's not just striking at the heart of a Mom, he's striking indirectly at my children.

For a month we agonized with Maggie, and watched her pass two weeks ago. During that last week, I didn't post it, but one of my four beautiful giant goldfish that I've had in our front yard pond for 2 years disappeared. Nothing to cry over like a dog, but a noted scratch. And then today, after saying good morning to the family gerbil, Marly, I noticed a giant bloody scent gland tumor. After consulting with the vet, he needs to be euthanized as well.

I cried. More than once. Not as much for the gerbil who's led a good life, but for my children. It was only two weeks ago that we buried our dog, and now I had to tell the kids that we also had to put down their 2 1/2 year old gerbil. Grace said, "After that, we won't have any pets left." And it tore my heart strings to watch that familiar tension in Jack's face as he tried to say something happy while fighting off tears, "I bet Gully (Marly's deceased buddy) will be happy to see Marly again. They'll be wrestling with each other and playing." But I can see it. The wounds that were healing so well have been ripped back open.

During this time, I have been praying for protection over our family, and recently over even extended family, as I have seen the Enemy fan out over us. Ken has been dealing with his own spiritual warfare, in addition to what has been swirling around the home. My prayers have been especially fervent over Ken. I am certain that all of this warfare is over Ken. It was two months ago that he was approached by his mentor on the topic of moving from being a deacon in the church to a possible elder position. Ken's plate was already full to the brim, working 80 hour weeks as his technology company ramps up, but he agreed to consider. And that is when the Enemy decided to strike, adding distractions, upon disappointments, upon pains.

But after a rough two months, and coming to a mutual realization that the Enemy was trying to swoop in over our family, Ken decided to forge ahead despite the work load and "Stick it to him". Tonight we received word that the elders in our church unanimously voted to add Ken to the board of elders. And so it is. And the will of God has prevailed.

I think the whole family is a little beat up and bruised. It has been an emotional battle. But when I take the time to look around me, my joy is renewed. There is a new "closeness" in the house, and more conversation. We pulled together as an army for God. We held our ground. And where we stand, falls the shade of God's long shadow. A reminder of His protection and Holy presence over this house.

Shakespeare: Making Magnetic Paper Dolls

I wasn't going to blog a post on this until I was certain it would work. I'm tickled to discover that it does and it was worth the effort.

Grace and I will be following the AO Year 1 requirement for Shakespeare this term. I have an appreciation for Shakespeare, and can fondly remember studying it in highschool and even attending a couple of outdoor evening theatres under the stars. However, I'm admittedly shake-ing in my boots about trying to do Shakespeare with a six year old.

We will be reading "Tales From Shakespeare" by Charles and Mary Lamb, which is a youth friendly paraphrasing of Shakespeare's many classics. So thankfully, it won't be like we are trying to tackle a foreign language AND a Shakespeare classic. To help us keep things fun and to assist us with keeping track of the cast, I purchased a couple of Shakespeare Paper Doll books put out by Dover Publications. I also purchased a Xyron 900 Laminator System (half price for $40), knowing that I would be using it for other projects. The Xyron Laminator has cartridges for lamination on the top and magnet on the bottom.


After a couple of days of paperdoll cutting (you will need to cut these characters out by hand, the dolls don't come with perforated edges), I laminated the characters and clothing changes with the magnetic backing. Then, I cut the dolls out again leaving about a quarter inch of space between the first cut and the second cut. I was very pleased to discover that the clothes adhere to the doll when placed against something with a strong magnetic pull like the fridge. So it worked!!

It was worth the extra effort knowing that the dolls will last for years now that they are laminated and don't need to have clothes folded onto them. Grace was very taken by the beautiful characters and their clothing. Ken, however, was not so taken by the male characters Moth, PeaceBlossom and Puck, who look quite...well.. effeminate. We had a good laugh, as he demanded to confiscate the male fairies. So be prepared. :)

The Knucker Hatch Fruit Smoothie

I thought I'd shake it up a bit on the blog and offer up a secret family recipe that is perfect for any time of the day during the hot summer. Ken and I have been trying to perfect smoothies for awhile, and about six months ago we pulled a smoothie concoction together that has stuck ever since. I drink this stuff for breakfast, or offer it with dinner sometimes. It's down right good and good for you!

The Knucker Hatch Smoothie

2 Red Label Yoplait Yogurts (any combo of two flavors...you can't go wrong)
1 Cup of Juice (orange juice,or Punch flavored Juicy Juice)
1 Cup of Milk (whole or 2%)
3 Cups of FROZEN fruit (Strawberries, Peaches, Pineapples, Melon, Berries)
2 Tablespoons of Sugar (optional)

Set blender to "Grate" for about 30 seconds and then to "Smoothie" until at desired consistency.

Serves 4 parched family members.

This recipe is so easy, and gives you a giant boost of vitamins (especially Vitamin C). It has been a staple for me while nursing Faith.

Where In The World Is Faith Knucker Hatch?

That's right folks...take a good look at 2012's next National Geography Bee champion. Again...another homeschooler. (The kids were playing with our new globe and it orbited into Faith's territory. I couldn't pass up the picture.)

The globe has been an interesting addition. I purposely waited. I'm not sure why exactly. I wanted the children to learn the continents on a flat map first. It was amusing to watch them translate how the continents appeared on a flat map to the continents on a globe. It took some adjusting, but they were really interested in getting reaquainted with the continents. Ok...that...and seeing how fast they could spin the globe. I'm patting myself on the back now for going with the cheaper globe.

Only two more weeks to get organized before we hit the books again...ACH!!!

I'm Too Sexy For My One-sie

Right now, there is just no stinkin' reason why this baby needs to be wearing clothes. It's hot. It's humid. And it's sticky. The drool is out of control; and anything trying to stay dry under the mouth of Faith is wasting its time. And lastly, we just had our second set of vaccinations which again has come with the works - fever, poo explosions and major upchucks. It's any wonder that I dressed this week for that matter.

However, a naked baby is impossible to avoid. It is a pudgy, white, magnet that draws your face towards its baby smooth ripples and rolls. Ken and I were laughing yesterday that while Faith hardly ever reacts to us blowing "zerberts" on her belly and neck, it is impossible not to do. It just feels good...to us...so we keep landing em' on the poor kid. It's therapy.

"Would you like that PBJ with crunchy or creamy peanut butter?"

BrainPOP: A Homeschooler's Dream Site

Today, I was on a little jaunt online, looking for web sites that I could bookmark for our upcoming nature studies in germination and food chains. I found some wonderful sites, but BrainPOP blew me out of the water. Do you guys know about BrainPOP ???


I don't know where I've been, but apparently someone is well aware of the site, as it has received many accolades and numerous awards. The idea is simple: BrainPOP has created hundreds of animated movies that provide an informative glance over hundreds of topics within six core school subjects: science, social studies, math, english, health and technology. This is not an ordinary slap it together web site...this site will really impress you. What has me excited is that while the 2-3 minute videos are concise, they pack a lot of punch.

BrainPOP's topics cover a wide range and I am already drooling over movie primers that I will be able to use with the children this term. For example, I was able to locate informative movies on the six animal kingdoms, seed plants, continents, pollination, the food chain, the north pole, mapping, and photosynthesis. They even have a movie on Shakespeare for pete's sake! In addition, each topic has additional features including a time line, experiment ideas, a worksheet activity, online quizzes, and much more.

What I like in particular is that it offers me the opportunity to use the computer to educate the children in quick informative blips. This is important to me, as I try to look for ways to balance how I educate the children in a topic. I strive to have a bonanza of different ways to learn the same broad concepts in and outside of the room.

For example, this term we will be using various animal Toobs in which the children will need to separate invertebrates from vertebrates, or separate mammals from amphibians, etc (Toobs are actual tubes containing various plastic miniatures of animals...you can find them on www.Christianbooks.com). This task appeals to the Montessori lover. We will also be using board games like The Wild Seed Game and the food chain game called Into The Forest. This particular term, our Ambleside Online reading doesn't tie into our nature study, but we'll be focusing on library books that review germination and food chain topics. We'll also be in the middle of it with our own germination experiments and observation in the yard. To add brief additions of computer time, rounds out the school time. And while we were already doing this...sites like these add incredible value.

There is a catch. BrainPOP does cost an annual or monthly membership for homeschooling families, however, you do have full access to the site for an ample 14 days before you need to decide for yourself if the site appeals to you. BrainPOP has two thumbs up from this homeschooling educator.

Sunflower Survivors

The sunflower project has been going magnificently. The bumblebees seem almost intoxicated with such a giant flower, taking their time to bathe for hours in the nectar before heading home. It's hard to believe these giant beautiful sunflowers came from the piddily excuse for sunflower seeds found in bird seed. I'm thoroughly impressed.

Grace and Dad's project has turned into the perfect germination study. We all have been able to share the experience of watching such a radical transformation from seed to flower. This fall, I plan on teaching the children how to collect seed back from our gardens, and the sunflower should be an exciting addition...if the birds don't beat us to the punch.

Closet Closure

Dreams do come true! As promised, I've uploaded pictures of the now finally organized (mostly) school room closets. What a difference this has made in clearing out the shelving already present in the room. We use the room shelving to house activities on trays, but lately it has been dominated by toys. Here is our coat closet that Ken has transformed into a shelving haven for toys and games.

And although I'm still sorting, this is my so already loved schooling closet. WITH A LOCK ON THE DOOR.

I SO owe my husband, already semi-eagerly committing myself to helping him clear out the garage we haven't been able to place our two cars in for the last 6 months. (ouch)

Grace is now six before September 1st, which means in addition to laying out our schedule for the next term, and ordering term related supplies this week, I've also been preparing my Declaration of Intent and getting the attendance sheets ready. It all feels so odd and "official" even though we have been schooling for almost two years and we've been keeping records of all of our school work. A clean playroom and NOW closet space is such a boost to what will be our first "on the books" term with the county school system.

Bumper To Bumper With Bubba

Is there anything better than having a big brother to watch over you and protect you...and bury you in sofa pillows? Jack has so much love and affection for Faith, that at times he is at a loss as to how to show her gently. This is one of his finer, calm moments where he scored big time brownie points with his sister.

Brown Chickens

Oh Bananas!

Yippee! We are taking solids. Well, kind of. More like:

Step One: Let mommy put three nicely spaced spoonfuls of homemade banana baby food in my mouth.

Step Two: Squeeze that hidden pocket in the back of my cheek with my tongue and shoot it all back out at her at G Force speed.

The bananas worked well. The homemade apple puree ...uuuummmm... not so much. We'll be doing the unsweetened applesauce.

Here's a photo that clearly illustrates, my little girl is not so little any more. We are now five months, and we've got the giant rolls of fat hanging from every limb to prove it.


Nothing screams, "I'm fed with Mama's down home cookin'", like a roly poly baby. We did learn how to work with gravity and roll over from our belly to our back in June. We might be a little late on that accomplishment, but again, her favorite position since her second month has been at a full weight bearing stand. How she can bear her own weight, is a mystery to me. She's solid. :)

She's the only child I know who can be always on the go, and going no where. Constantly active. Her mouth is also in high gear at all times. She's like a drooling vaccuum hose. Faith managed to find my chin during church last week and latched on at a full suck with the strength of a Shop Vac. That was funny.

What is not so funny, is her newest accomplishment...screaming. {{great}}

And THAT Was June

If you have been reading the In This Corner blog you are very aware of our family's ups and downs last month. It has been crazy. It has been fun. It has been busy. And it has been very sad at times. To borrow and modify part of a well known poem:

When it was good, it was very, very good.
But when it was bad, it was horrid.

I know, family tends to dabble only on the Knucker Hatch blog so here's a monthly recap for you strict Knucker Hatch surfers:

In early June we hit Nags Head Beach for a full week of wonderful vacationing with Ken's side of the family. The cousins all got along famously and ate up every last bit of Grandma and Grandpa's attention.

Due to illness, we had to miss the second half of the trip which would have been a full week of vacationing with my Dad's side of the family in Florida.

But the Lord was looking out for all of us, as it was clear that we needed to be home with our nine year old, very loved, but hurting Golden Retriever. After a month of many tests and vet trips, we discovered that she was dying of kidney failure. So, on the 31st of June, we had to say good bye to our one and only Maggie Lou. Thank you to all of you who have called or sent cards to check on us and our grieving...it means so very much to us. I know for others, this will be the first time you have heard.

We are taking it day by day, and it is getting easier. But there isn't a single day that goes by in which we don't miss her giant face licks and sweet demeanor incredibly.


I've put together a series of links from the In This Corner blog. It follows the swift decline of Maggie. Perhaps it will be helpful to someone out there researching the medicine Deramaxx for treating canine arthritis. If you see the following symptoms in your dog: body tremors, not eating for days, vomiting, black stools, please consider changing meds if your dog is already on Deramaxx (even if it doesn't show up in the kidney numbers). Deramaxx was a gift to Maggie, and helped her considerably, but in hindsight, we might have picked another arthritic medicine, as the damage to her kidneys was most likely a result of the Deramaxx. The kidneys didn't reflect the damage in the blood tests until it was much too late, but her big brown eyes told us something wasn't right six months ago.

My Poor Eighty Pound Baby
Dog Gone Grief
Playing Us Like A Fiddle
The Dog Days of Summer
One Last Night of Friendship
Meet Me At The Door Maggie

Comic Relief

If ever I need a good laugh, I just need to keep my eye on my son. In one of our "Let's try to have fun" moments this weekend, the family headed out to a new fountain in our town park. At one point during the fountain frolicking, Jack became fascinated with...well...you've got the picture:
This would be followed by a very tricky, but much needed shorts adjustment, and then he would be back for more. Do you think he's trying to tell me he needs more fiber in his diet?

Meet Me At The Door Maggie

The sadness is all consuming when I am alone with my thoughts. My sweetheart lays buried in the corner of our backyard under the shade of the forest. Just a few days ago she was laying right where my feet are now resting. Every room I walk in, every corner of the yard, holds remnants of her presence. And while I have already given away her super huge pillow to my sister-in-law for her cousins to use, as well as her food, I can't bear yet to empty out her water bowl, and tuck it away. How I miss my sweetheart.

The Lord was so good to us on Friday morning. Ken had slept on the couch next to her all night, and after a 5:00am feeding, I came down the stairs to find her laying on the cool hardwoods. When she saw me, I received the familiar loving tail wag that creates thumps of joy on the floor. I laid on the floor next to her with my pillow for a little while thinking of the few hours I had left with her. Her body was failing, but her cup of love for us was still full.

Trying to get her more comfortable, we went on the front porch and enjoyed the sunrise, cool air on our faces, and the chatter of the birds. For two hours we camped out. One by one, as Ken and the children woke up, they came out to hang with us on the porch and cuddle up to Maggie. Her constant tremors were always there taunting me. They were the first sign that something was amiss a month ago, and now they consumed her body everytime she tried to lay down and rest. How quickly this whole mess had fallen on her.

The blow hit the hardest when Ken made the appointment for 9:40am that morning. It sucked the wind out of me. Looking at the clock I had exactly one hour left with Maggie. Only sixty more minutes to enjoy the warmth of her fur and let her know a hundred more times just how special she was to our family. I was glad to have my brother and sister-in-law pull up to the house or I think I might have really lost my senses. Maggie adored Kristy. I knew that seeing Kristy again would lift her spirits to a new height. It did, and I was so thankful to see Maggie's joy in another well loved friend by her side.

Before I knew it, Ken and I were leading her up to the mini van for a final car ride. It was almost too much. She seemed so happy to just focus on something else, practically making the large jump up into the back end herself. Ken drove, making a phone call to a friend for prayer, and I laid next to her drenching our Golden girl in a new flood of tears. We chose to go to the vet who provided the second opinion. I was so glad I did. For whatever the reason, I quickly saw just how comfortable Maggie felt with this veterinarian and the facility. She was full of tail wags, and showed no concerns or fears.

The last fifteen minutes went very quickly. The vet went over all of her stats again, letting us know we were doing the right thing, and going over how the next few minutes would play out for us and her. She was given a sedative that took about 10 minutes to put her in a very restful state of sleep. All the while, Ken and I tried our best to maintain composure and tell her over and over again what a good girl she was. I wanted 'Good Girl Maggie' to be the last words she ever heard from us on this earth. Maggie deserved as much. She fell into the deepest of slumbers just as she always did at home, with just the tip of her pink tongue sticking out. It was the most restful I have seen her in so very long.

The second shot, took only seconds. She never moved. Never flinched. She passed on as gently as I had asked the Lord to take her. And I am so thankful for that peace. However, it is still mind numbing to return back to the car less than thirty minutes later with the same dog you just cuddled next to, only this time, she's bagged up for her burial.

We've had days now to adjust to the absence of our Maggie. The grief hits in hard waves. Jack and I have been taking it probably the hardest. I followed Ken around like a lonely puppy dog for the first two days, as I quickly discovered that being alone with my thoughts was overwhelming. We've tried very hard to do things as a family during this time, and the kids have found the best therapy to be listening to 'Puppy Stories' as they call it. Anything I can retell about the many memories of Maggie, brings them happiness. Grace's therapy has been writing and coloring about her loss. Jack on the other hand needs to talk it out, and is trying to desperately understand the difference between body and spirit (he wanted to revisit her grave the next morning and unbury her to see if her body was still there.) He is full of questions about death, even asking in tears who would bury him when he died. Your heart breaks all over when you hear questions like that.

We all miss her. And catch ourselves when we almost whistle for her to come join us for a movie, or feel like we hear the familiar tap-tapping of her nails on the hardwood floors. The holes in our hearts are so deep. But it is my hope that the holes will eventually fill in as the scars from the last few weeks fade, and the memories of her entire life become the focus.

I told Maggie to meet me at the door when I arrive Home. I have no doubt that she will be there with her tail wagging hard, looking desperately around our heavenly Home for something on God's floor to bring to me as a welcome home gift.