PKU Blues

I tried little girl, I really tried. I put up the biggest phone effort ever, and your Daddy can tell you that two hours of being on the phone with someone other than him, is a huge effort on my part. I talked to the government. I talked to health care officials and supervisors. I talked with lots and lots of "little guys". I tried to be super sleuth and convince the government with my evidence. I pleaded with truths. And in the end, I could not move the mountain of government for you. The laboratory supervisor couldn't convince them either. Even when the evidence showed that your PKU test was received in the lab three minutes later at the correct time.

I failed.
For a third time
I will watch over you
As white lab coats
Stick your heel
And squeeze
....And squeeze
.........And squeeze.

You'll cry.

The truth
Did not set you free.
Four millimeters of ink
Misplaced on a page.

This time
I'll cry with you.

Because, little one, Mommy has a deep desire to save you from others' mistakes. And as you get older, I'll even want to save you from your own. When you become a mother, you'll understand that it is not the pin prick that upsets me so. It's the bigger picture. I won't always be able to protect you from the mistakes of others. I can't. And there will be times in your life, when you are in the right, and it will still hurt. But I promise that I'll be there to watch over you, and spill tears with you. You'll always have my fingers to wrap a death grip around when it hurts more than words can say. Whether your three weeks old or thirty three years.