It is early in the morning. Too early. The random contraction induced insomnia has begun. Part of it, I'm sure is that I'm still battling some sort of mild chest cold bug, but the other part is simply being uncomfortable and waking up to "Oooo...I wonder if that little number was anything to sit up about?".
I have an embarrassing confession: I simply have never experienced the early signs of labor before beyond evenly timed Braxton Hicks contractions. After three deliveries, I still have no cotton pickin' idea what uninduced labor is like. Hope will be my forth child, and I feel so inexperienced on this front. It is a weird feeling of disconnect.
Everyone tells me that labor on Pitocin is different. I even had a man at church tell me last week in full detail (father of four) how labor with Pitocin changes the way a contraction feels. I couldn't believe my ears! Even HE seemed to know more than me. I like labor on Pitocin. It's strong and unmistakable. So while I don't get overly excited over evenly spaced out Braxton Hicks anymore, I keep wondering if that "other" labor is around the corner. Or if I've become so dismissive over the years, that I'd even recognize it if we passed each other on the street.
As has become tradition in this house, I don't pack my bags. The clothes would grow stale if I did. I don't count days down simply because it is my little one's "due date". If my babies were library books they'd all emerge with overdue fines of at least $1.80 stamped on their noggins. And I can't say I get too worked up about pulling a blonde pregnancy move and entirely forgetting about my last OB appointment. I haven't seen the doctor in over a month. I know on Monday, he's going to look at me and say I'm as locked up as Alcatraz.
But I can't deny that there always remains a hope within me that one of these pregnancies will break the Knucker Hatch mold and arrive early. Maybe "Hope" is the one. She certainly is a rather quiet one. She's been flying under the radar this whole pregnancy; a mild womb potato minding her Ps and Qs. I would be surprised if she was the one that ended up kicking down the steel uterine door on the way out. If anyone ever does, I'm ordering them a trophy.
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6 comments:
well, I can 'kind of' relate. It was like that for my first one.... doctor breaking my water, when that didn't cause REAL labor, they gave me the Pitocin.......So with my second one I prayed and prayed my water would break on its own and I would go into 'natural' labor. And I did.... and then I was begging for the epidural....I'm such a wimp. :)
I hope you'll be holding her in your arms very soon! Many blessings to you! :)
I SOOOO know how you feel. Not the overdue part (you poor thing), but the unfamiliarity with the labor everyone talks about...the breaking water, the timing of the contractions, the rushing to the hospital just in time. What is that all about anyway? I personally like the induced labor; it fits perfectly with my planning personality! :-)
If it helps any I have had six and still question if its its real labor or not. I did have my water broke with no. 2 and 3, but went by myself on the other (very late) four. I hate the thought of going all the way to the hospital (or now calling the midwife to come over) when its not for real. Then there is the time I labored for six hours with 5 min. apart then had nothing but maybe three an HOUR for twelve hours till they kicked in again for good. The medical people try so hard to compartmentalize pregnancy and birth as xyz. There are too many variables to it for that. You just relax, let your body take care of things and go when you feel its time. If it isn't they will just send you home or ask you to walk the halls a bit. Don't let yourself get stressed over what is the real thing when you are already going to be doing so much. You will do just fine.
BTW, I don't think I've ever told you this, but with the Princess, I went and checked myself in to the hospital and was ready to have a baby only to be told to go home because I was just experiencing hard BHs. How embarrassing and humiliating is that? :-)
All of you make me feel SO MUCH BETTER. I really felt alone on this one.
Katy, I never thought about women who have C-sections. Of course they have the same experience as me! Especially repeat C-sectioners.
And Kate, the fact that you can have six kids and still feel "ify" on labor signs puts me more at ease to just go with it as it comes.
Lynn, I am totally in your camp: let me get started on my own, but then I'm going full throttle on the Epidural when I've decided to let go of the pain. With The Princess of Wails they even had this new fangled contraption where I managed my own epidural drip with the push of a button. How cool is that?
I've enjoyed your blog for a long time and will pray for you and the baby. God Bless you, what a miracle, Mary Brooke
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