What's Cool About Turning 4 Months?

What's Cool:
Everytime I smile, the entire world comes 2 feet closer.
What's Not Cool:
No matter how much I smile, the world is never close enough.

What's Cool:
Mom keeps giving me this neat new bottle with white stuff in it.
What's Not Cool:
She actually expects me to try drinking it every once and awhile so her and the big scruffy guy can go on a much needed date or something. None of that ma'am. I'm happy to amuse you with bottle playing, but I'm not going to actually drink that stuff. Just stick to that giant flesh ball thingy. That's much more fun to knead milk out of.

What's Cool:
I'm getting so, so, so much attention. This thing I've discovered called whining is really working for me.
What's Not Cool:
My parents are starting to call me not so endearing names. Things like, "Code Name: Squawker", "High Maintenance", and "Take-Her".


What's Cool:
This thing they call a "binky" is neat. It's working for me all of sudden.
What's Not Cool:
That boy. The crazy one who looks like he's ready to poke my eye out at any second, keeps shoving it in and out of my mouth like I'm a human slot machine. He scares me.

What's Cool:
Everybody wants to pick me up, and hold me.
What's Not Cool:
They pick me up and hold me. I can't help it..I start to act very uncool, and my bottom lip starts to do this quiver thing. It is very embarassing. Mom keeps calling it "stranger anxiety", whatever that is.


What's Cool:
I sleep from 7:30pm to 8:30am.
What's Not Cool:
I don't sleep during the day much. Why should I though? Nobody else takes naps in this house (except that cool fat face wash dog). Why do I have to? I'm four months old now. I don't need naps anymore Mom. Naps are for babies.