Numero Uno: Don't leave your seven year old daughter alone with a brand new gallon of paint and a paint brush. Even if she has asked sweetly if she can help you paint the room, and she seems mature, and nods her head that she understands the process fully. Even if you opt out of the roller and give her the safety of a trusty paint brush. And even if the only thing you have allowed her to paint, is the inside of a closet, carefully lined with plastic. Because what you don't know is that children think dunking an entire hand into a gallon of paint has much better coverage on the walls after their wrist begins to ache from using a paint brush.
Numero Dos: Listen to that nagging voice in the back of your head when you run a washer you don't know a thing about in a used house for the first time. The voice that says, in a Suessical tone, "You should not be doing this when your husband is out. You should not be running the washer right now." Do not feel safe, even after you supervise the wash cycle and all is well. Because what you don't know is that the spin cycle is deadly with a broken pump. A pump responsible for draining a full drum of water BEFORE the spin cycle hits.
Numero Tres: Have more than two towels available in the house you are moving into for water related emergencies.
Numero Quatro: Expect to give your left leg in labor and parts over a washer. $240 equals two minutes of labor and a replacement pump. Um....that's almost a brand new washer. And I'm not even past running the stupid thing beyond a minute into the spin cycle. And this was AFTER Tom Builder pulled a disgusting rotten piece of God knows only what piece of clothing it used to be out of a pipe in an attempt to fix it.
Numero Cinq: Woe to the pregnant woman who must choose paint colors. That's in the Bible somewhere isn't it? I love painting, but choosing paint colors will be the death of me and Tom Builder both.
Numero Six: When a little one year old girl comes to visit your church nursery for the first time, and she has an unusually beautiful name like "Jahdia". Be VERY careful to rehearse this name over and over again in your head, lest you accidentally call her "Jihad". Oh yes folks, I DID.
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2 comments:
#6 makes me laugh
Wow do we have parallel lives!! I have COMPLETE and TOTAL sympathy with pretty much each instance. Having FINALLY finished my self-inflicted remodel, I know what intense pressure comes with choosing paint, fixtures, fabric...yikes...I always go in knowing what I want and then am dazzled by the multitude of options to the point of mental exhaustion:) Even the washer bit- in the middle of our remodel our machine overflowed 5 times...enough for us to finally invest in a whole new pair...luckily my hubby took on the challenge of picking those, my mind was warped by that time:)
Overly helpful children (clearly demonstrated in my blog:) and word fumbles are my specialty.
Cheers. Here here.
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