Who Flu The Poop?

There is only one thing that keeps me from blogging for over a week. Not moving. Not homeschooling. Not chasing after three kids and trying to grow another. And not trying to do all of those things at once. What keeps me from blogging is Faith, the flu, buckets of curdled sour milk on the way back up, and amazingly rancid diapers that have MOAB military like capabilities when they detonate.

Flu + Faith = Stale Blog.

Six days of the flu bug for my poor little one. By day three, she was shuffling her feet along the floor like an old lady. By day four, we had the worst blow out in Knucker Hatch history. By day five, I was praising the steam cleaner for it's vomit devouring capabilities on hardwoods. By day six, the laundry had washed The Princess of Wails' sheets and blankets 12 times.

And now...Tom Builder appears to be Mr. Flu's next possible victim. Good times.

However, we are making progress on the house. The play room is freshly painted, and neatly organized which has made everyone in the new house cheerful in spite of the stench o' flu. I'm sure there is an old adage somewhere that says, "If the playroom is happy, everybody is happy."


There is much more I have to share with you from last week. Not all of it was doom and gloom. In fact, the farm is dazzling. And just as amazing, we've discovered that Mr. Incredible can turn slime into sparkling pool water. Just in time for almost 80+ degree weather. A many pictured post to follow tomorrow (as soon as my camera battery recharges and recovers from my trigger happy finger.)

Penny For Your Thoughts

What is a penny really worth to you? I find myself facing this question every time I am trying to declutter, or clean, or in today's case, pack up the playroom for moving. I'll find a single penny, and pick it up. And I stare at it in my hand for way too long.


I glance at the trash bag which is much closer than the two ton kitchen coin jar that never seems to get emptied at the bank. And my first urge is to toss the penny in the trash. But then my second thought is, "Isn't throwing money away illegal?". (I have no idea why I think that.) And then I'm always faced with the third thought, "One day, you may look back and find yourself penniless. And you will remember days like this when you tossed money away out of convenience." And then the last thought will enter my head as I begin mental calculations of how many things worth a penny I have just tossed in the trash...googlie eyes, 5 colored puff balls, a Happy Meal toy. Endless items.

The whole inner conversation goes on...But a homeless person couldn't pay for a stick of bread with 25 googlie eyes...they'd need actual pennies. And so on. In the end, I can never make myself throw the penny out. Because it might appear that I wasn't thankful for every penny earned in this household. And then the heavens above might decide it was time to teach that penny tossing woman a lesson.

But. BUT. I don't pick pennies up off the ground that have been left behind. Because that penny is someone else's penny. Who, I know, will never see that penny again. But I still can't do it.

Utter silliness. Now, really.

Hard Lessons Learned This Week

Numero Uno: Don't leave your seven year old daughter alone with a brand new gallon of paint and a paint brush. Even if she has asked sweetly if she can help you paint the room, and she seems mature, and nods her head that she understands the process fully. Even if you opt out of the roller and give her the safety of a trusty paint brush. And even if the only thing you have allowed her to paint, is the inside of a closet, carefully lined with plastic. Because what you don't know is that children think dunking an entire hand into a gallon of paint has much better coverage on the walls after their wrist begins to ache from using a paint brush.

Numero Dos: Listen to that nagging voice in the back of your head when you run a washer you don't know a thing about in a used house for the first time. The voice that says, in a Suessical tone, "You should not be doing this when your husband is out. You should not be running the washer right now." Do not feel safe, even after you supervise the wash cycle and all is well. Because what you don't know is that the spin cycle is deadly with a broken pump. A pump responsible for draining a full drum of water BEFORE the spin cycle hits.

Numero Tres: Have more than two towels available in the house you are moving into for water related emergencies.

Numero Quatro: Expect to give your left leg in labor and parts over a washer. $240 equals two minutes of labor and a replacement pump. Um....that's almost a brand new washer. And I'm not even past running the stupid thing beyond a minute into the spin cycle. And this was AFTER Tom Builder pulled a disgusting rotten piece of God knows only what piece of clothing it used to be out of a pipe in an attempt to fix it.

Numero Cinq: Woe to the pregnant woman who must choose paint colors. That's in the Bible somewhere isn't it? I love painting, but choosing paint colors will be the death of me and Tom Builder both.

Numero Six: When a little one year old girl comes to visit your church nursery for the first time, and she has an unusually beautiful name like "Jahdia". Be VERY careful to rehearse this name over and over again in your head, lest you accidentally call her "Jihad". Oh yes folks, I DID.

Instink Quote

Scene: The family is outside enjoying a gorgeous blue sky day. Hatch sits in front of the family with his nose to the wind sniffing studiously the 1001 smells dogs can smell in the air.

Grace observes: "Hatch is smelling his instink."

(pause)

Grace asks: "Mom? What's an instink?"

Mom proceeds to correct her child on the pronunciation of instinct, explains that it cannot be smelled, and defines to the best of her abilities the pull of instinct. Mom thinks instink has a lot of potential though, and would like to hear your definition of "Instink"...

Bloop.

Number Four is no longer a quiet orb of life that makes my belly swell. Number Four, is making a presence known. We've started the blooping.

Lots of people talk about flutters. I've never understood the flutter description. It has always felt like a "bloop" to me. At an early 14 weeks and 4 days (plus the additional week and 2 days that passes before we evict my children), the bloop is still occasional. But every mother would agree that babes that go bump and kick in the day, are a great relief to a pregnant mother. A confirmation that life inside her belly is as it should be. This is the point in my pregnancies where my relationship with my unborn child begins. Since 8 weeks, Number Four has listened to the conversations of his mother. And as the weeks have passed, I have started to listen for my child. A language of bloops is developing. These are his first words to me.

It is something a mother can hardly explain. How she already knows so much about her child, before the child is born. The activity of the child has spoken to her. Revealed much to her, about the personality that has developed within her. It is a language that takes experience to learn. When the child is your first, everything is new and embraced, but it is difficult to distinguish uniquenesses in the child, because the pregnancy is all you know. But then your second comes along, and the differences in utero between the first and the second reveal themselves. A third child, amplifies differences, and hones your skills to distinguish the individual dialects of your childrens' language.

Faith, my third child, had an unusual amount of activity. She was full of spunk. A movement that was different than my first two. More determined. She exuded a strength that was missing from my other two children. I knew before she was born, she would be my active child. I also knew, with little doubt, she would be my first child to cry when she left the womb. I already had a sense, that she would be demanding. Her language in utero, prepared me for the year ahead. Gently showing me, that this child would be a challenge. That I would need to match her strength. And I did.

Number Four is growing big enough to make his words heard. The conversation is beginning. Legs, elbows, arms and hic-ups choreograph the personality of the fresh soul inside of me. I am a captive audience of one, wrapped around a foreign body, whom I love. He will learn my language. I will learn his. Before we study each other's face for the first time, we will already have the peace of knowing each other's spirit. The color of our souls. The part that never fades and withers away with age.

Wind In The Willow

I love taking pictures of The Queen's Grace outside. Her hair is always catching the sun, and she looks as if she's been dropped out of heaven when she is knee deep in cushy nature.

After a full day of rain yesterday, we all couldn't wait to get back out and enjoy the spring sun today, and the WIND. Oh the wind! I finally got myself a Flickr account, and figured out why everyone has one of those new fangled thing-a-ma-jigs on their blogs. Now I get it. Way cool. So come on down to the farm, and visit some pictures from our romp this afternoon: Exploring The Farm.

And in case you're wondering, if it wasn't for the pest control woman who was working around our home today, there would be one brown mangy dog with a bee-bee in his tushy today. (I do note the irony that I couldn't find it in myself to haul out the bee-bee gun for chasing off a pesky dog when the pest control woman was there.)

The Great Dane

So I haven't told you about my experiences yet with our neighbor's dogs on our property. This is a doozy.

It started out with just a rapidly beating heart as the children and I were on a walk around the land one day. We were close to home, and well on the property. Our trusty, friendly dog, Hatch was also with us. When the ugliest dog I have ever seen, an old tumor ridden mangy hunting dog, trotted down the lane toward us, woofing along the way. I was paralyzed as I watched with trepidation Hatch head out to greet the dog. There is that moment when dogs stand nose to nose with tails up and stiff that you know things could go either way. Faith was wrapped on my back and the children were beside me, and I had this moment of sudden surrender as I knew if the dog didn't get the right vibe from smaller Hatch, he would be the least likely candidate to win the dog fight. And I would not be stepping in to help. But thankfully, they decided that neither one was a threat, and they made friends. That was the first dog.

Two days later, as we were piling out of the van, and getting ready to go inside the house for schooling that morning, I happened to turn around as I was getting Faith out of the car seat. My heart dived into the pit of my stomach, as my eyes tried to make sense of what was before me. A Great Dane staring us down less than 10 yards away.

A GREAT DANE.

Hatch was climbing out of the car, but the Dane was so still that Hatch thankfully didn't see him. I hurried everyone immediately into the house.

Houston, we have a problem.

I call the Great Dane - Ghost. Ghost is stealthy, quiet, and amazingly quick. You don't know he is there, until HE IS THERE. And he is bigger than life (as all Great Danes are). Ghost is a problem. Hatch, does not like Ghost. Ghost does not like Hatch. Hatch never growls, but Hatch growls at Ghost when he suddenly appears on the property. Worse, Ghost growls at Hatch. Once Jack opened the door to go outside, and instantly turned tail white faced in time for me to see Ghost 5 yards from the door, head low, growling at Hatch who instantly was at Jack's side growling back. Sometimes it feels like we are in some bizarre horror flick. None of us like the idea of the jaws of death sauntering around the land unchecked.

Yesterday, confirmed that fear. I was heading out to the bunny pen to feed our almost newly inherited bunny. The bunny was left by the previous owner, and word on the land was she would most likely be leaving it with us forever. The previous owners have a reputation for unfinished business. Which was great news for our family, since I am a rabbit fanatic, who has had to be reformed after my marriage to Tom Builder. No more college bunnies. But now was my chance to give my children the bunny sickness. We were all looking forward to taking care of Casey. In fact, we were planning to rescue Casey from her outdoor cage, and give her a much bigger run or the safety of a small enclosed shed to roam in with a few other friends. A Bun-Bun House. The future was looking bright for Casey.

Until the Great Dane decided to spend the night of Easter terrorizing Casey as his jaws of death chewed through the wire bottom underneath the lifted cage. He chewed a 12 inch round hole in the bottom of the cage, and seized the rabbit (who quickly became no more). Dead Casey was dropped upon the driveway of his owners as a trophy. After a phone call to Pam (the bunny owner) we have since learned that this is the THIRD bunny who has met this same fate with the Great Dane. Rumor is, the owners have four Great Danes. I don't know who I'm madder at...the Great Dane owners, or Pam. So Tom Builder and I spent yesterday evening discussing our options. One thing was made clear, as we were still hanging out on the farm that afternoon. If the kids saw the Great Dane, they were to tell Mr. Incredible immediately.

And then Ghost came. We were in the house, and we watched as he glided down the long driveway and came right up to the porch. Tom Builder was summoned. And we all stood nose to window as we watched wide eyed at the scene before us. Mr. Incredible opened the door and stepped outside, grabbing two large sticks with pink pony heads attached to the top of them (junk still sitting on the porch from the previous owners.). Yes...you can start laughing.

Mr. Incredible in his nice slacks and handsome shirt brandished two pink ponies at Ghost shouting GIT!. For a moment, the dog cocked his head, as if to say, Who is this Pink Pony Ninja?. But then Mr. Incredible made it clear that he meant business. He chased the giant dog off the property, slinging a pink pony at the dog, and running with the wind blowing in his hair after the fleeing Dane with the remaining pink pony. OH I WISH I HAD MY VIDEO CAMERA. All of us were laughing hysterically and quite relieved that Ghost hadn't decided to challenge Mr. Incredible. Even Tom Builder, when he realized what he had grabbed for weapons, had a sheepish grin on his face.

But today, we will be guarding our property with something more accurate than a pink pony. The bee-bee gun from Tom Builder's glory days is cocked and loaded. Personally, I'd rather watch the Pink Pony Ninja in action again. Pink ponies, or bee-bee guns, we realize we do have a serious problem that needs addressing.

Happy Teath-ster!!

We had a really nice Easther at the Knucker Hatch houth. Grandma and Grandpa Knucker Hatch were in town for Masters week and all of us had the joy of sharing their sweet company over the last few days.

Because his parents own 25+ acres of their own in Colorado, and have a very successful alpaca business, Mr. Incredible and I were two sponges trying to soak up all advice farm and land management related from the two as we walked the land. I'm starting to realize just how much owning land, is a guy thing. Tom Builder has been having more fun than he'd probably like to admit scanning the classifieds for tractors, and commercial grade mowers...and then of course there is the necessary Bobcat. Big boy toys.

Besides being an alpaca breeder, Grandpa Knucker Hatch is also a chemist, which made him a helpful side kick as the two men tried to navigate their way through clarifying the rectangular green bog we inherited with the property. It is perfectly reasonable to believe that the smaller cousin to the Lochness Monster lives at the bottom of that pool. But it is my hope that when we can finally see beyond the first step of the pool, we will find no sea monsters.

It took two days for me to work up the nerve to complete our egg coloring this year. On the first day, the children were chomping at the bit to put the tablets of coloring in each of the cups. So, I gave them each three tablets to place in three cups. Grace took her tablets and dropped them in each cup. But Jack. My little Jack. What would I do without Sir Bugga-lot to keep things interesting? Jack (before you can say "Jack Rabbit") dropped all three colors (yellow, blue, and green) into one cup, which turned into a frenzy of fizzing blackness. I managed to rescue one tablet, but the green and yellow were their own chartreuse color this year. I won't go into how many unboiled eggs were broken between the coloring and the glittering mess on day two. But the important thing is that the kids had fun (in between feelings of failure).


The Easter bunny arrived after church, when the children were not looking and busying themselves around the house. He mysteriously began dropping bits of candy here and there inside of the house. And when the kids didn't notice, a doorbell ditch at the door of funny teeth, a bit of candy, and spaghetti balls (don't ask) in a basket, prompted a whoop-dee-doo to get the ball finally rolling. The bunny, in all her swiftness to get away, left a trail of blood from a thorn that found its way into the soft flesh of her bare feet. But the bunny digresses. And so the hunt was on...



And when it was over, a satisfaction was in the air. You see, there was a bit of worry this year, over a little something Mom had said. The children had let on, that they were pretty sure the Easter bunny was Mom. But Mom had said, in so many words, that when the Easter Bunny no longer is believed in, she quits his delivery service. So, when she didn't show up in the morning, and she didn't leave treasures hiding in the house directly after church, the children began to wonder what they had gotten themselves into. Grace especially began to show traces of concern.

But the bunny delivered. She was spotted for a split second by Grace at the door, who diplomatically mentioned that she had hair about the color of Mommy's. And it was a person who left the baskets. Ehem.

But in this Easter season, we are reminded, that Christ delivered despite our unbelief. That He has given us an eternal gift that sits on The Table of Resurrection. A gift that required the blood of Christ to purchase, but who's only requirement is to simply be accepted and received. Glory!

Farm Slang Gone Wild

During one of our nature walks by the creek this week, Grace's foot ran into a thorn bush. In wincing pain and through tears she exclaimed,

"Oww. Oww! I've been porked!"

Not pricked. Not poked. But porked.

I did everything in my motherly powers to be the consoler and not to fall in the field in a big "BAHHHHH!"

Ehem. We need to work on that one. Very soon.
Before the new slang leaves the farm.

Uber-Easter

After almost eleven years of marriage, Tom Builder still surprises me with his sweet side. Yesterday, Mr. Incredible learned despite the flyers sent home with gobs of children, the Children's Ministry had received only 100 stuffed eggs for two services of Easter egg hunts. The expected head count of eager Easter egg hunting children: 100.

oops.

I will admit that we were as guilty as the next family for not bringing in our one dozen candy filled eggs. (In keeping with my tradition of procrastination, I tend to bring in the eggs the day of the easter egg hunt, hoping to get them there in time for the second service hunt. Not very helpful.)

But Tom Builder decided to change things, after hearing of the meager pickins' from our very round and pregnant Children's Minister, and discovering that she would be the one spending an evening stuffing eggs to make up for the lack of participation. He came home from Walmart yesterday afternoon with garbage bags full of eggs and candy.

Seven hundred plastic eggs to be exact.

So last night, the Knucker Hatches sat on the floor filling eggs full of jelly beans, Starbursts, Skittles, and anything else that would fit. (As three of us popped goodies into our mouths.) We filled the equivalent of about two laundry baskets.

What I haven't told you, is that Tom Builder had decided to fast for the entire day. And candy is a very close friend of mine and Tom Builder. (We make runs to the gas station down the street at 10:00pm for bags of candy.) He grocery shopped and filled seven hundred eggs full of sweets on an empty rumbling stomach.

GOODNESS.
That's my Tom Builder.

Year 2 Term 1: Exams Continue

Yesterday we continued our oral exams. For some reason, I could tell that Grace just wasn't on her game. She was having a more difficult time with giving large narrations, and stuck to shorter answers. I found myself prying, which I am not supposed to do with oral exams, just to get her wheels turning. I had a feeling this might be coming with the subject matter we had, with the exception of Pilgrim's Progress and Science. But her short answer in the arena of Science, her natural favorite, was a clear indication, that this day she was feeling off. And she knew it.

Faith has a cold today, and is a teary, snotty mess. Since all of our school work is at the new house, I decided to use this day as a teacher prep day for the next term, and we'll have our final exam day tomorrow with our remaining subject of History. It will be the toughest of all three days...eeesh.

The following are the exam questions and Grace's answers as dictated.


The Little Duke:
The Little Duke tends to be on the drier side of our book selections and drags on in a bit of slow motion.

Who was The Little Duke?
Richard. He liked Alberic, and he really loved his father. And he found out that his key around his neck was to his father’s greatest treasure. And he wanted to try what Alberic did on the pony, jumping right up on it. He spoke English.

Why was he called “The Little Duke”?
Because he was little and they made him duke because his father died.

What happened to his father?
He was fighting with this army and so he went home, but they said, "Hey wait", and so he came over, and he was like “What do you want?”. And they put his head underwater and they sliced it. That was how it happened. (MKH Note: actually it is not what happened, but he was betrayed and killed by the sword.)

What did his father impress upon him?
Not to have revenge on anyone.

Who are some important people in the Little Duke’s life?
Alberic, Sir Eric, Osmond, Fru Astrida, Count Bernard, his father, men at arms.

Right now, The Little Duke is in danger? Explain what danger he is in.
He is in danger of being taken away by King Louis.


Pilgrims Progress:
We read both Pilgrim's Progress and Little Pilgrim's Progress at the same time. Little Pilgrim's Progress is a favorite, and Grace loves to have her read aloud assignments be from LPP. These exam questions are based on Little Pilgrim's Progress.

What has been the toughest part of Christian’s journey so far?
I think fighting with Self. Because he has sharp darts, and they are very sharp and they wounded him. It was difficult in the deep dark valley because he was frightened.

Where did little Christian come from and where is he going?
He came from The City of Destruction and he is going to the Celestial City.

Name a few mistakes little Christian made during a portion of his journey.
He listened to Worldy. And he lost his roll.

Name a few people that Christian has met along his journey. Try to do it in order. He meets Charity, he meets Piety, he meets Discretion, and he meets Prudence. He meets Watchful. He meets The Interpreter. He meets Mistrust. He meets Timorous. He meets Passion. He meets Patience. He meets the boy who was trying to blow out the fire. And he met the girl who was pouring water and the boy who swept dust. I think he met Faithful…he heard him right? He meets the guy at the wicket gate. (MKH Note: Interestingly, for the most part, Grace's order went from present in the story back toward the beginning of the story.)

Tell me about the scene in which Little Christian is shown Patience and Passion. What is happening in the room? Passion wants his toys now, so a man brings in a sack of toys, a really big sack. And so Passion is so happy, he has gold and silver and anything you could imagine. So he is leaving Patience with rags. But Patience is waiting for heaven, until he gets to heaven he will have the best treasure ever. And it is like Passion will be begging for his toys, and Patience is a good servant of God.

Name two characters that little Christian is hoping to see in the Celestial City.
He is hoping to see is mother. And he is hoping to see his father? (MKH Note: I was shooting for her answer to be his mother and The Lord.)


Poetry - Term Poet was William Blake:

Name a favorite poem from William Blake’s poetry that we read this term. Why was it your favorite?

Spring. Because it is all about Spring and spring is my favorite season.


Burgess Book of Animals:

This term we studied skunks, badgers, and bats. Tell me about the habitat and the behavior and diet of one of these creatures.

Animal selected was Bats: If you lift up a leaf that looks like a leaf, but it is really a bat, it might fly away, If you open a bush it might be there too. For the mother bat, three of the babies will hold on to her feet. Bats eat insects.

Year 2 Term 1: Literature Exam

Grace had her first oral exam today. It was also MY first day of giving exams. Today is our official Exam Week for Ambleside Year 2, 1st Term. Despite our many firsts, Grace showed no fear whatsoever with the idea that she would be orally tested on the material she had covered over the course of our last term. I was the one who was nervous for her! This was my first opportunity to see how reading literature slowly over a long period of time assisted in her memory retention.

At the age of seven, in Charlotte Mason fashion, Grace is tested orally in a manner that seeks to give her a way to provide as much information as she can recall about subject matter that she has covered. This tends to be a stark contrast to exams today, especially at her age. There is no guess work. No multiple choice. Just tell me what you know. Overall, I am very happy with her narrations, considering this was the first time she had been asked to recall from months back. I wasn't sure what to expect. Because of my own doubting demons, I tended to go a little easy on this round, and after today, feel comfortable heightening the bar as the week progresses. Grace quickly declared that she loved exam week, since once the oral exam was over, she could play on the farm for the rest of the day!

Today Grace's exam questions revolved around our Literature reading for the term, which included chapters 1-6 in The Wind in The Willows, two Shakespeare plays, and a number of chapters from Parables of Nature. Below are the exam questions and word for word answers as dictated.

The Wind in The Willows:

Name the four main characters in The Wind in The Willows and tell me about each character.

There is Rat. He watches Toad like Badger told him. Ratty found mole a friend. And there is Mr. Badger. Mr. Badger showed Rat and Mole his gigantic place that came under water that man built and he also got mad at Rat for leaving Toad. There is Toad, and he's all about the motor car. He loves motor cars, and he climbed out the window and he got arrested and put in a deep dark dungeon with a crooked key. Mole...he went in the carriage with Rat and Toad and he was cleaning his house with whitewash, and he went on a walk with Mr. Badger.

What has been your most favorite part of The Wind in The Willows so far and why?
When Toad climbed out the window. He was pretending to be ill and he was like "I have my own plans", and he climbed out the window.

What do you think the story of The Wind in The Willows is about up to this point?
It is about animals becoming friends and about the trees blowing with wind, and about seasons, like change. About coming home, and going on adventures.


Shakespeare:

Choose a play from Shakespeare that we did this term and tell me the story line.

Play selected is Romeo and Juliet.
Romeo sneaks into the Capulet's party with a mask on pretending to be a Capulet. And there was a guy who recognized his voice and he was like "You dare sneak into our party!". And he was like, "You are going to be sacrificed for your punishment." So Romeo ran away from that guy and he met a beautiful woman named Juliet. And he said, "Are you dancing?" And she said, "Of course I am young gentleman." And so he was like, "Who are you a Montague or a Capulet?". "A Capulet", she said. And she was like, "Who are you, a Capulet or a Montague?" And she got so startled that she went to her room that night.

I think that Lord Capulet banished Romeo from Verona. And the Friar kept sending notes of how he was and he was in need of food. And the Friar came and told that they had a plan for Juliet, but he did not tell Romeo what the plan was and so the Friar went back, but the bad news came faster than the good news. When Romeo heard that Juliet was dead (but she really wasn't) he was so sad he really cried. And so when the Friar got there Romeo was dead. And so when the Friar told him that Juliet was alive she just drank a potion, Romeo didn't believe him.

So he came back to to Verona to die with his fair lady. And when he got there Count Paris was there. They had a battle and so they fought, and fought and fought, until Romeo killed Count Paris. When he turned on the light, he saw it was Count Paris. And it was nearly time for Juliet to wake up. And he got to the tomb where Juliet was laying asleep, and he stabbed himself and fell dying on the ground. And then when Juliet woke up and the Friar came back they both saw Count Paris and Romeo were dead and so Juliet now knowing Romeo was dead took a knife and stabbed herself in the belly and died next to them.

And so Lord Capulet and Lord Montague became friends. After all they weren't friends before and now they say they are brothers.


Parables of Nature:

What is a zoophyte?
A plant that lives in the sea that is an animal.

What is a Will 'o The Wisp?
It is like a glowing ball that keeps people from danger like a bog.