As the hours pass, a gradual state of decline follows. Predictability goes out the window, and truthfully, much of the happiness. There are days (like yesterday) where my little nugget decides that one full hour of sleep will be all she needs for her 12 hour day. Two 1/2 hour naps. Just enough time to eat lunch and cry a pity river. On days like these, the mail is my best friend. It keeps Faith entertained (and fed) for a lovely hour. How I love junk mail.
I know there are some mothers out there who are shocked and alarmed at how I allow my child to chomp all over magazine paper that has been in the dirty mail. I assure you she is supervised, but other than that...she can have at it. When your child doesn't sleep, by about 2:00pm all bets are off and junk mail becomes golden. I can't get this child to eat a spoonful of bananas, but she'll shove the Halloween specials in her mouth with gusto. Faith shows no mercy in the arena of catalogs - literally ripping the paper with her mouth from her hands like she's a lion wrestling meat off an antelope.
Watching Faith wiggle and giggle about in a sea of unsolicited mail, is a daily reminder to not try so hard. A metaphor to find the joy buried in the junk and boredom. I have a hard wired need to feel like I have accomplished a task or four in my day, and it is hard for me to feel like I've accomplished anything on a mediocre day. It bothers me. Like I've wasted the day watching the carpet collect dirt. Ken keeps suggesting we hire a cleaner to help lighten the load, and is always surprised to hear an emphatic "NO!" with a hint of panic in my voice. If I didn't have the opportunity to feel like I've at least accomplished something through cleaning a room or two during the day I might crawl in a hole.
I am longing for cooler days, so the children and I can at least go outside mid-day to the park, or for a walk. Something, ANYTHING, to divide up the day that doesn't involve a shopping cart or an errand list.
2 comments:
Journey Mama said...
I hear you, about the accomplishing things bit- it's hard to see the slow progress in the forming of our kids. Not so many check marks on our lists. Faith is adorable, by the way. Is her hair really that red?
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You know, the color of Faith's hair is a mystery. It goes anywhere from a light blond to a shimmery light red depending on the lighting. Unfortunately, my camera goes wacko when our green basement carpet is a backdrop. Her hair looks bright red in those pics!
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