God Help Me Parent My Son

Something is happening to my son, and I need the power of the resurrection to get us both through this. Where is my old son???? I want him back! I'll give you a two hour glimpse into our interactions lately:

Today, involved battling our upstairs toilet as my boy had decided to use an ENTIRE roll of toilet paper on his backside. Of course, he chose NOT to mention this to Mommy, which means it swelled and grew to mammoth proportions until later in the afternoon when Grace freaked out at the frothing brew in the toilet. It took 10 flushes to get it all down safely.

Less than an hour later, I take note of my son's face while he is desperately searching for something to wash down what appears to be a horrible taste in his mouth. When questioned about what he has just eaten, he says, "Um..I think I ate some white stuff." In a half panic, wondering what pills he's swallowed, I asked for further explanation and for him to show me what he swallowed. He then proceeded to retrieve my stick of deodorant in a powder fresh scent. My son, ate deodorant. Deodorant people.

Let me tell you, he didn't flinch the one time I washed his mouth out with soap, but I think he's on to something with deodorant. My son can testify that it sticks in the teeth hours later, dutifully doing its best to prevent your mouth from producing moisture, and giving your mouth a clean powder fresh scent.