The Comedic Diaries of Dog vs. Cat

This is such a HOOT! I had to post it to the blog. (The authorship is unknown.)

As seen in a Dog's diary:

7 am Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
12 pm Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!


As seen in a Cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity...

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction that I get from clawing their furniture.

Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must remember to try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, that did not work according to plan ...

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." I must learn what this is and how I may use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I have patience. I can wait. It is only a matter of time.

Jack Earned His Yellow Tae Kwon Do Belt!!!

A BIG CONGRATULATIONS to Jack who earned his yellow belt today! This was Jack's first experience with testing in Tae Kwon Do, and for a very young four year old, it was almost a rite of passage. He has had such a strong desire to change rank from a white belt to a yellow belt.

This was not easy stuff folks. To pass, Jack was required to display four different forms (a series of moves connected together), one of which required breaking a wooden board with his foot. Yes. My boy broke a board with his foot!!! He also had to provide a written essay on what he likes most about the sport. We are so proud of him, and how he held himself. The entire testing for all individuals took an exhausting 3 1/2 hours from start to finish.

Hello Spring!

In the good name of Charlotte Mason, and the bad name of baby fat, we've been making an effort to get outside and get some vigor in our day. The last couple of days have included a much needed walk for Maggie, (who hasn't felt a leash around her neck in probably 5 months), and stroller rides for Faith. The children take turns steering Faith into the curb, giving Maggie flat tires with the front wheels of the stroller, and blitzing across the entire road when cars approach. But in all seriousness, it has been nice to just get out and enjoy the weather.

Faith fired one of her first recorded smiles in the stroller today:Did I mention Faith has tongue issues?? Her tongue is always busy and rarely inside of her mouth except to rehydrate itself.

Hairball

In one word that is how I would describe my hairstyle as a mommy who desperately needs a haircut and can't seem to find time to blow her hair dry anymore. Do they have a great hair style out there for drip-dryers? A shower and some face on is about as far as I get anymore. Sometimes by late noon I have a chance to half wet it down and try to style.

It's bad. Real bad. Even my daughter said something to me late in the afternoon the other day, "Mom...you forgot to do your hair today. It is still all over the place." I did it, I just didn't "DO" it. I wish I was one of those chicks who looked good wearing a baseball cap, but I look like a dork.

Worse is I'm trying to grow it out, as my husband asked me months ago,(in so many hint words) when I was going to grow it out again. I almost burst into tears as I explained that as a Mom, it felt good to at least know that it was styled nice since I could get it dry quick, even if it wasn't the most feminine of styles. (it was a bad day).

Also it never fails... I'll grow my hair out, end up usually having to do the standard pony tail or banana clip and then Ken will stumble upon a picture of me with my hair short and mention how much he liked my hair --- after I had just spent the last two years growing it out! I'll get it chopped, and then a few months later he'll find an unusual photo of me with fresh highlights, and long styled locks, and compliment sweetly, "You look nice in this picture." I've fallen for this full cycle twice in our marriage, which is about right with hair growth...10 years.


Truth is...I'm just as fickle about hair, but lately I'd love to keep it short. However, something in the back of my mind won't let myself as I know my husband has tolerated "short" long enough. So my head looks like a frump fest, and even my children notice. Honestly, this style is starting to look tempting:
Baby blues?? Not a bit. Hair blues? YES. YES. YES.
Cause unfortunately, HAIR DOES MATTER.